The Sanctum

HAS MOVED TO WORDPRESS.

2010-05-06T17:51:00.000-07:00

Dear reader,

The Sanctum, which has changed its name to 'The Synctum' has now moved and can be found at wyndago.wordpress.com. Any inconveniences caused is highly regreted. But really the new location is just a click away so you know what to do. Catch you on the other side.

Yours sincerely,

Wyndago.

NB: If you have The Sanctum on your blogroll, it will be much appreciated if you made the necessary changes. Thanks!

MOST WANTED

2010-04-27T12:54:00.000-07:00

In the hood, you can see my portraits on the street walls and the poles of electricity, sometimes even on the trees. It’s like every other corner I take they speak of me, in the salons, in the barber shops, in the ghetto, in the suburbs I’m most wanted, I’m a fugitive. In the local precincts of the northern as well as of the southern parts I’m listed as a missing person but I don’t want to be found. The women sought after me the most, some of them hot some of them not. They pray to see me in their dreams, some that I may fall straight from heaven into their world. They send me tons of letters and write about me in their journals, they say “Mr. Right, where are you hiding? Come rock my world, marry me! I won’t quit waiting for you”. Now that’s sweet, but I’m just one guy. Shall I clone myself? But thankfully, I have imposters claiming to be me, I appreciate that. They wear a mask and try to walk like me. They buy new clothes but it just won’t change them. Act smart, but their swag ain’t like mine. I feel sorry for the women who fall victim, but I can only belong to one of you at a time.

You may say; Mr. Right, you are not fair! Why are you hiding when we need you? You are like the love Superman, the Spiderman of romance, come save us before it’s too late, before sexy becomes extinct! I brought sexy back once; a guy named Justin Timberlake took all the credit for it. He fooled many ladies into thinking he was me. I don’t think the ladies fell for his cheap imitation of me that much; it’s Jason Derulo who is pulling it off. Back to why I’m hiding, it’s why they call me Mr. Right. I don’t fight, I love. I don’t break beautiful young girl’s hearts, I don’t lie, I don’t cheat, I’ll be there when you need me, I will listen, I will hold you, I will wipe off your tears, I will make the most passionate love to you, I will kiss you, I will tell you that I love you, I will hold your hands when you want me to without you having to tell me, I will let you watch your soaps, I will surpass your expectations, that is why I hide! I hide to protect you from a heartache, please wait ‘til your turn comes, if it comes. I beg of you to be patient, I hate to see you waste your love on dudes who don’t deserve it!

I’m immortal, I will always be here. My heart is unbreakable, I’ll be exactly who you want me to be. I’m tall and dark, I’m handsome. I have brown eyes and a long nose. I work out so I have a cute six pack and huge biceps (and you know what else). I’m black, and Latino. I’m short. I’m intelligent; I have a fat bank account. I’m white and I have green eyes. I’m funny; I can have you giggling like a pig! I’m Chris Rock, I’m Russell Peters, see? You have nothing to worry about; I will pass by your life at one time even if I don’t get to marry you. We don’t always get what we want, I was given this world but I didn’t make it. I received all your lovely letters, all of them from since you were a teen. I try to read all of them. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to reply to any of them, my boss cupid won’t let me have time for myself, always has me on an assignment, but I hope reading this helps to ease your frustration in your quest to finding me. You don’t have to search for me; I will find you, sweetheart.

Message To The Fellas: You can’t cramp my style you bastards, the sooner you learn that the better! Ask Cassanova, little punk forgot who the immortal one is. Tarnished my name the most, look where he’s at now! What’s wrong, you can’t come up with your own swag? Using your name, ain’t your name good enough? I’m only proud of one man so far- Romeo! He’s the one I’d wish to be. Taking his life for love, so deep! I witnessed it with my own eyes. Michael Jackson stole my line- I’m not a fighter I’m a lover. He went ahead to shamelessly make it a song! Look, I don’t mean to be harsh on you. I’m just saying get your own act! Phew. My shrink was right; I feel better having let it all out!

VICES AND VERSA'S

2010-04-23T14:47:00.000-07:00

It’s never my intention to either directly or indirectly reveal the nature of my character in this blog but sometimes it just doesn’t seem like such a big deal. This is one of those times and as I’m writing this I’m hearing a voice in my head echoing the words- write now, regret later. That doesn’t make sense to me now but let’s give it time and see if I will comprehend the meaning. Hear from you later, voice, I’m getting down to writing it!

If I haven’t mentioned it on this blog before then it done took me a long time to announce it to you that I used to have a bad temper, but thank God it’s in the past now although Brenda doesn’t want to believe that. As skinny as I am it was only for my own good that I took care of my always very justified but exaggerated anger. My poor sister (not Emily, the other one- Norah) did fall victim of my wrath one too many times during the time when I used to get attacked with those spells of uncontrollable anger. Please note that this was a fairly long time ago, back when I was a teenager, so please don’t judge. That was that. Oh, you wonder who Brenda is? I know who she is but it’s complicated who she is to me, you understand? That’s another story.

Now, a little advice to sinners out there, I’m sure that pretty much covers everyone. I, having gone through and tried a variety of vices, can confidently tell you that you can posses any number of them you want but please be sure that once you have chosen to have bad-temperedness then skip impatience and vice-versa (ha ha, VICE-versa, these words have a way of coming back to me). Bad-temperedness is even too strong a word, let’s just say anger. It’s funny, I can patiently wait four years until I graduate, I somehow can patiently wait until when I make my first million, I can even patiently wait for Friday to come but I CANNOT patiently wait queuing to be served in a bank! My mom sent me to pay the electricity bill one day, I went back home with the money because the queue was too long, little did I know that that very day was the deadline. Mom had to go back and make the payment by herself :( ! I am not proud of that, mom was so mad she refused to even let me go back for her. So if you want to meet me somewhere, don’t keep me waiting for too long or you will be more than disappointed. This leads me to what happened yesterday, which is sadly something that has happened with me several times before. A case of same script, different cast but same star- me.

See, I’m impatient like that. Remember that female from the bus? Let’s name her Mary. She turned out to be a very interesting person. It made me think that sometimes we are just uptight for nothing; good things do sometimes happen outside the boundary of our principles, like in this case talking to strangers and even calling them on the phone. This may be true but don't take my word for it, I will not be responsible for any loss or damage you incur for taking heed to my word. Please, do this at your own risk. Anyway, the only time I have free during weekdays is home time- time when I go home in the evenings; she had been out of town all week, she came back yesterday so we planned to meet… at home-time o’clock. I do my routine and the time comes, I make that call and she no go pick her phone oh! I de try again ten minutes later and still nothing, anoda ten minutes and still notsing! Then the fourth time she picks up. I try to talk but she just won’t quit saying “halloooo?” Then she puts me on hold. I hang up and call again; I make sure she hears me clearly so I ask “Can you hear me clearly?” She says yes. Then I’m put on hold. ****! I had been waiting for about twenty minutes and she puts me on hold? Furious! I send a text to deny her any excuses like- I couldn’t hear you. This is how it read exactly,

Screw it, am tryna ask u wea u at!

If this blog post were a video and these texts were the words of a narrator I’d freeze this part and zoom in on the text to give it a dramatic effect. That right there, that I call anger, very much justified if you ask me. But it was dangerously mixed with impatience, threatening to create imbalance in the mentality of a young man as me (I’m not sure what this means). An impatience that tells you there can’t be any credible explanation for what happened. An impatience that tells you are right and they are wrong and time spent to listen to any more of that crap is a waste of precious time! When you are annoyed and impatient to know the reason behind everything, you might end up losing many good things because when you are patient you just might understand that you are being silly.

What went down after that is irrelevant for I feel that I have accomplished the mission of demonstrating what a little anger and impatience can do to you. Moral of the story is that either you be angry or be impatient, never both. Get angry but wait ‘til she arrives or leave but don’t get angry. I choose to be impatient; it doesn’t take too much of your energy that one. Well, I try, even though sometimes I do get carried away.

For the curious lot: I will always cater for your needs; you know I will never let you down! Mary and I did not eventually meet, I was too impatient to wait and she was too mad to call. Note, we’d known each other just about four days at the time when I sent her that text. I promptly and sincerely apologized. I think it is important to also note that she is the one who called way later to protest about the text. It didn’t make her happy to say the least.

NB: Mimicking how Nigerians speak does NOT by any means imply that I watch Nigerian movies or that I’m associated with any Nigerian(s).

CHEATER!

2010-04-18T07:01:00.000-07:00

I’m not sure if it applies to everyone but as far as I am concerned I can cheat the world but I can’t cheat myself. I used to be my own worst critic but that didn’t prove healthy so I gradually evolved into my own biggest challenger. Not quite a different thing but much more fun for me, if I overcome the challenges that is. I’m going to attempt to elaborate.

I’ll begin with FIFA, my all time favourite computer game. This should be on Ripley’s because believe it or not that game has the fundamentals of living a fulfilling life embedded in it! Playing the manager mode, FIFA teaches you to bank on the future, stick with old players and it won’t be long before you are left with either no players or a bankrupt club. Similarly, (and now I’m about to reveal the superficial me), whenever I see a woman, the pretty one mostly (‘pretty’ here refers to the whole package as far as physical eyes can see), my brain, upon my request generates probable images of how she would look like after her first child and again after her second… and perhaps another for after her third child if the images are still bearable to envision. This helps me to estimate the ‘use before’ date of a woman’s prettiness given the circumstance of pregnancy or pregnancies. Don’t you dare sneer because I’m serious. It’s all about peeping into the future. There are many other FIFA principles that can be applied in real life, but that is another post. All this, although irrelevant in the context of this post is quite significant to mention. What is relevant though is that playing as Arsenal on FIFA 2010 (never have I played as any other team), I have never won the Champion’s League. It sickens me! And you know how it takes days before you complete a season. I won once but I had to retake the semi-final match and that doesn’t count to me. I didn’t feel anything because I cheated the software, but not me.

I’m always challenging myself, sometimes, as I have come to realize, unnecessarily. For instance, I visited chiira’s blog and he makes description of places in Nairobi on this post. To date, it bugs me that I can’t figure out a single location but I wouldn’t ask or let anyone tell me because yes, it would equate to cheating! You know that game Spider Solitaire? It does have the option of checking for possible moves you could make, guess who doesn’t use that? You got it- ME! And sometimes I set a time limit for myself within which I should complete the game. If the time limit ends before I finish, I start afresh. Did I mention that I only play the difficult level?

This, my blog friends, may seem a harmless habit but not when applied in life and death situations, because that is what I unknowingly did over time until God showed it to me. It came to me in a flash, it couldn’t be any more vivid. This happened moments ago from when I’m writing this. Brethren, like everyone else I have my own demons to fight, I have my own flaws, I have my own weaknesses. When it came to matters of sin, it was etched in my subconscious mind that to truly surmount sin you should face it. That if you are struggling with adultery, bring home a whore and dare not to touch her. If you have trouble with porn, buy tons of it yet don’t use it! To me that would have been true victory over sin as opposed to running away from it by eliminating it from your life and pretending it didn’t exist! I was wrong, or maybe I was not but it’s putting excessive load on yourself. It’s unnecessary, but if you can do that then you are better off. I’ve been playing with fire, sin is nothing to challenge yourself with. I can’t remember praying to God to let Him help me with my battle against sin. My attitude was “it’s okay, God, I’ll do this!” because in my mind if God helped it would have been cheating! As much as I wanted to please God and say “look, no hands!”, I have learned today that it’s okay to let Him hold me to prevent me from falling.

So dear God I have a sin problem I can’t overcome on my own, please help me. If I should cheat sin or whatever then so be it. No more self-induced challenges.

FAMILY MATTERS

2010-04-14T05:44:00.003-07:00

I have two sisters and one brother, we are balanced in our family, in every way you look at it... we came in the order of boy, girl, boy then girl again. My favourite of my siblings is the littlest of us all, so when they closed school for the holidays I was very excited (my dad decided to take her to a boarding school this year, something I silently disapprove- she's turning eleven in two days!) and looked forward to seeing her. Three months seemed like ages. When mom goes to visit her during visiting days, they must call and I would talk to her and the first thing she'd ask is why I hadn't gone... laziness :(. Well, I love that kid. And now I realize I should have made the title of this post Emily Matters, for I see this being purely about her.

Anyway, I kept wondering how big she'd grown, would she be taller than me now? (Oh, she's tall for a ten year old I think). Did them boobs pop up yet? She walked through the door with my other sister who had gone to pick her up and I wasn't far off, she's grown. But she's still flat around the upper abdomen part :). People do have a problem with the way I usually talk about my female family members, I hope you don't. I remember when a female cousin came over to visit us for a few days one time. I started talking about how cute she was with my friends and I was told I was not supposed to say that due to the fact that we are family. I don't know, it's not like I want to have sex with her!! I'm just pointing out an obvious fact.

Speaking of sex. But wait. I need to sadly tell you that Emily didn't do well in her end term exams. No, she did pretty bad! I guess boarding school doesn't mean better grades. And my dad, yes he's concerned but I'm surprised he's not making the noise he used to during my time. I used to do fairly well but it was never enough! What, did he lose his voice?! Okay. Okay. Having said all that I can now bring in the sex part. I have been volunteering to offer Emily home tutoring when I get the time. She came home with sample test papers from her school which we would go through together after a little lesson. Now these science papers are filled with so many reproduction questions with a penis diagram here and a vagina there, talk of sperms here and ova there (ova there?), what's a brother to do? I did what I had to do, I provided a little sex education and funny enough she felt most uncomfortable. For some reason my favourite part was the part where I explained to her what menstruation was. I must admit I was a bit (a bit) uncomfortable too so I kept it strictly formal. Sometimes I just feel I'm the wrong person to be teaching her these stuff, where are the parents at?! But she knows these things. Going through the female reproductive parts, I asked her what the uterus is. She said its where the baby grows... I was proud :)

And my thirteen year old brother, the quiet type, still sucks his thumb, you can find him doing it 90% of the time. I let him play Fifa on my laptop the other day (I know, these 'other days' have become one too many) and he missed to score by an inch and he went "fuck!". What can I say, he just might have picked it from me. As much as parenting is tough, parents you need to be involved in almost every part of your kid's life! The woes of being a first born... you become a parent before your time.

TRUE STORY

2010-04-12T19:02:00.000-07:00

I'm breaking records in my life, let's begin with the rather conceivable ones. Today, okay it's past midnight so I really mean to say yesterday, was the day that went down in history as the day I spotted the highest number of expectant women around town! Wasn't an unusual thing in the college I went to... hell, half the people we shared a room with became accidental dads (2/4), but for some reason the same scenario on the streets of Nairobi alarms me. From the looks of it, the state of the economy done not depress any progress in that department :)

Nowadays I can smell an expectant woman from twenty miles away and I can pinpoint just exactly when this ability began to develop inside me. I was eighteen years old (them good ol' days) and very naïve, or maybe not... depending on how you look at it, sometimes emotions can cloud your judgment. Then there lived a beautiful female that I got so strongly attracted to, let's give her an innocent name as Mary. We were in the same class for a short course in a certain institution, she was my neighbor too so we walked home together everyday, making my moves on her slowly but surely. In my head I remember saying, "She's okay except for that potbelly, but that we can fix"

So one morning when the boys in class gather up during recess to talk, Mary's name pops up. Nobody knew my intentions with her, about how I fantasized about her every night. It is my principle to not reveal the prey to friends until the prey becomes a victim. Them boys hated on her, and to pretend I was on their side I innocently added, "And I don't think she's even serious with life, seen how she keeps leaving the classroom all the time?" Then one of them blatantly tells me "That's because she's pregnant!" I still stared at the young man with a blank face waiting for further explanation for I still couldn't see the connection- morning sickness! Long story short, I now can identify a two day pregnant woman if I hang around her long enough. True story! And to the curious lot, no I did not proceed with my quest.

Last week, a rather uncanny series of events occurred in my life. Never happened before in the history of my life. I hop into a bus and sit next to this good-looking chic on my way home. Describing her as just good-looking seems a description so inadequate but I'm going to fight the urge of wanting to describe her any further than that to protect her privacy... or whatever. Yes, so I thought she was cute, she alighted at her stop, that's right before mine and I alighted at mine and went home. Following day, around the same time, I arrive at the bus stop, I get into a bus to go home, I look for an empty spot near the window which leads me all the way to the very back seat. Ten seconds later, I see the same chic coming and sitting next to me! I don't know about you out there but I have never sat next to the same stranger in a bus in two consecutive days, in this case nights. As soon as she sat down these are the exact words that I said to her "What are the odds? We were together yesterday!" She smiled and pretended to recall, then she said yes. And the rest is history. Lets just say that that was not the last time we saw each other.

In other news, from my impossible thoughts; as I was conversing with myself ~~today~~ yesterday walking home from the bus stop, I was struck by a thought I have never thought up before. I can't remember what I was talking about but it all started when I told myself that I'm only but human, insinuating that I am not perfect. Then I thought, if indeed it is in the nature of man to be imperfect then why does God expect perfection from us, we all fall short but that's what He would want from us. God's initial intention was for man to be perfect and sinless but man chose a different path. Again Jesus was human in nature when He was on earth, he experienced everything we do as human beings; pain, emotions, hunger and so on, yet He was perfect. Conclusion: we are not imperfect because we are human, its because we allow ourselves to slip. We are not weak, we are powerful! And it's the misuse of this power that proves detrimental to ourselves. Believe it, true story!

Bonus: Again last week, I listened to an English stammerer being interviewed on BBC radio. Never had I heard anyone stammer in English before. It was kind of hilarious!!! TRUE STORY.

NB: For those who thought I forgot, I did not. Part 2 of Strange Strangers is coming soon. Seems I have my mojo back, so I'm holding it back a little :)

LIVING TO THE FULLEST

2010-04-10T09:11:00.000-07:00

I must declare it already, if you most beloved readers don't already know, that most of what I write in this blog (at least the ones that make the most sense), is inspired by other blog posts and this one here is not an exception. Too sad I can't exactly remember which one of the fairly numerous blogs I bother to visit did inspire this post but it certainly left bits of unfinished thoughts (because nothing in my head is ever resolved) etched in my mind and I have been meaning to put this down on ~~paper~~ print ever since then, about a month ago. So here it is;

The blogger in question was doing what we bloggers characteristically like to do- rant, yap, blubber, argue and "talk" about something with a passion that overwhelmingly supersedes the importance of the issue, yes that's us. If you write a blog, you know you are guilty. Pardon me, I'm getting sidetracked from the story. The blogger who was female (I'm not sure how this fact will help build the story) was ~~complaining~~ talking about how some common questions which people are so known to pose to each other are just nothing less than pathetic! Questions like, what's your favourite book or movie or colour? The argument was, why should anyone confine themselves to liking just a single colour? Fact is, she didn't know what her favourite colour was, she likes many colours and can't get herself to choosing just one! Plus, the answer varies at different times. Another one, if you were stuck in a desert... you know the rest of it. But the one that this post is mostly based on is the question; if you knew you had 24 hours to live, what would you do before you died. Her, she'd probably do the same thing she did the day before.

On that note, I feel the need to point out that I don't know what it means to live life to the fullest. So just when I begin to think that I might be living a boring life I tell myself, boring is the only fun I know. I like it this way and I wouldn't change it. At this point it wouldn't take a genius to tell that I probably would do the same thing the lady blogger would do if I had 24 hours to live, but a more accurate answer would be- I don't know what I'd do. My favourite quote right now (how ironic) is one that goes; if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. I'm sorry but in every argument I tend to end up at destination God, to some people that may be lame.

Sometimes I think we live too fast, its like a race. I should be married by now, all my friends already are. I should drink my ass stupid now, while I'm still young. Hell, where is the next party at? So we run around doing things because we compare our lives with that of others. We all want to go crazy and live to the fullest when in reality, when you live your life- that's when you are living to the fullest. If you are a party animal, get to dine with kings, eat your meals in different countries in a day and that's just your life, meaning it doesn't go against who you really are, then my take is that you are living your life full.

Sometimes when people talk about living to the fullest I get the impression that they take it to mean doing the things you don't to do on regular basis. Trying out everything to avoid missing out on anything or doing things just because you can to find out what it would feel like. From crazy stuff like dyeing your hair blue, or getting to the roof top of Times Tower and peeing from up there (men only) to simple and more acceptable things like camping and smelling flowers, literally. If it was upon me to define what living full means, I would define it as simply being true to who you are by doing things a you would actually do and being happy with that, period. No questions please. So if I had only 24 hours to live, whatever I do I'd make sure I enjoy every second of it, even if it's to just sit dumb and have a very exhilarating conversation with myself, which is something a Wyndago would do any day and come out as happy as Kanye with a VMA plaque.

NB: My apologies for not having posted anything for such a long time, especially to you lulu :-)

HELP NEEDED ON COLDFUSION

2010-03-14T11:21:00.000-07:00

So I installed coldfision for all IIS webservers, not the in-built servers. I'm running ISS7 on my computer and that is what I am using. The installation and configuration went smoothly until when I started administrator to complete the whole process, it gives the error messsage as in the printscreen below. On starting the webserver configuration tool does not start as well on clicking on it, instead it gives the error shown below.
Here are a few things I have done to correct this but in vain.

1. I have made sure that the folder CFIDE with the correct files are in the webserver ie C:/inetpub/wwwroot
2. The default address in the browser upon clicking administrator is http://127.0.0.1/CFIDE/administrator/index.cfm I tried changing it to http://my_computer_name/CFIDE/administrator/index.cfm but still I get the same error message. I even tried http://my_computer_name:8500/CFIDE/administrator/index.cfm
3. I have made sure that I have enabled ISAPI extensions and IIS Metabase & IIS6 configuration compatibitlity from windows features

The error message says -

HTTP Error 404.3 - Not Found

The page you are requesting cannot be served because of the extension configuration. If the page is a script, add a handler. If the file should be downloaded, add a MIME map.

On Starting Web server configuration tool, the screen shows as the image below and the error message reads "The procedure entry point_JVM_GetClassAccessFlags@8 could not be located in the dynamic link library jvm.dll"

TWITTER ACCOUNT STOLEN!

2010-02-27T03:57:00.001-08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, my twitter account has been hacked and stolen from me! I can't login with my password, its been changed. Its a horrible feeling, i tell you. So if you see Wyndago on twitter it won't be me... sucks!

STRANGE STRANGERS

2010-02-18T15:36:00.000-08:00

In Nairobi, that's arguably everyone you don't know, but strange is normal, sometimes too much caution is what gets you killed, or kills someone else. Like when a stranger on the streets approaches with a long story about how he's lost and needs money to get back home before dusk because his mother who is sick needs him but your instincts tell you the desperate ~~idiot~~ brother is nothing but a cheap conman, you know there is a chance that it might be true? What if its true? The poor mother is going to die! Anyway, normal strangers, that's scary. I mean those who treat you like they would treat a person they knew? Perhaps it's just me.

This guy at the matatu stage made gestures and yelled out something that I wasn't trying to hear, I turned to his direction and he looked at me straight in the eye and he says something again so I put my index finger on my chest to be sure if he was talking to me and as a matter of fact he was, he asked "Nairobi?" Yes, Nairobi. I was traveling from Thika. I personally don't like it when those boys decide for me which matatu I'll be traveling in but for some reason I followed this one meandering in between other matatus until we reached to the vehicle that was supposedly going to take me to Nairobi. It was cheaper and more comfortable, I hopped in and suddenly I wasn't comfortable, what was I doing in a personal car?! For all I know this could end up being a case of abduction and people are going to read about it in the Newspapers and hear newscasters read the news about me... I started to get nervous and resorted to asking too many questions like where exactly will you drop me... but the driver, noticing my discomfort, assured me he I'd be fine. Then I remembered this story of kidnappers. I started having this conversation with myself in my head.

"Well, it's me. God always takes care of me"

"Are you testing God now, putting yourself in potential danger and expecting him to rescue you?"

"But this is not putting myself in danger, I'm simply trying to go home"

"What if something happens to you, like if this driver drives crazy and you crash somewhere. Paps will wonder what the hell got you into a stranger's car!"

"Okay then, I'll buckle up"

But on my seat there was no seat belt.

"That's an excuse, it's not my fault"

"Are you serious?"

"I need to get this thought out of my head"

I looked over at the passenger seat and in the front and there was a woman, so I stayed. He was with a woman, which means he hadn't planned anything evil if he had brought a woman. That was my take. another random burly guy was led to the car by the same guy who brought me, that made me relaxed.

So we began our journey, two strangers in the back and another couple in the front. The driver thought he needed pressure on one of the car tyres. Apparently he didn't know Thika well, but our burly guy did. He helped a big deal, he sounded like he'd driven in Thika for a long time, he knew all the Petrol stations and at exactly what spot the pressure pipes were, if that's what they are called. By now, I was convinced that everything happened for a reason and that that guy was with us for a reason.

Then the strangest thing among strangers happened. We They started talking. And then...

"My names is Moses", began the driver, "...and I am born again"

"I am Doctor Jemmima, I am born again and I love Jesus", said the woman whom I later learned that she teaches Sunday school to little kids at her church.

I can't remember the burly guy's name but he was born again too!

"And what about our brother?", asked the driver

"They call me Wyndago, and umm... *stutter* I'm born again"

I don't know why I wasn't confident in saying so but that is another story.

What an evening. In this era, what are the odds of four (or three) born-again people finding themselves alone anywhere? I reckon they are pretty close to nil. I said Halleluhya but I might have said it too soon.

We had arrived in Nairobi, the burly had alighted in the famous Githurai so it was the three of us, when we found a very horrific traffic jam. Matatus started misbehaving, yes they did (we're used to that), trying to fit into smallest of spaces and they always fit and get through. On second thought, they but sometimes fit because this time one of them brushed on Moses' side mirror. This made the man of God angry and he began shouting at the matatu driver. Then to both mine and Dr. Jemima's surprise, our Moses applied hand break and stepped out of the car, ignoring Dr. jemima's pleas to just ignore the matatu driver. Right then I wondered what happened to Jesus. So now what was the purpose of that happening? I felt like I was at a drive-in, watching a movie through the windscreen. Jemima was so embarassed!

That is when these strangers became perfect to me, by their own imperfections. But I'm heeding my mother's advice of not speaking to strangers let alone get into their cars next time. You don't want to know what happened next.

BURST MY BUBBLE

2010-02-12T15:53:00.000-08:00

I had a roommate in college who liked the room pitch-black when it was time for him to sleep, he'd force me to bed early. Everybody went to bed early except me, I was up mumbling a bunch of dumb words to keep them entertained so I wont be left all alone sleepless thinking to myself in the dark why the heck she can't love me, but they came to realize it was a trick and always promptly prohibited me from speaking when that time reached. One after the other they would all say 'Wyndago, shut up and go to sleep!' And when I grabbed my phone to at least tweet, the pitch-black crazed roommate complained about the light! Please! I thought, am I in prison? Every night it was the same story, to kill the ~~boredom~~ loneliness I'd walk up and down the room and soon as I begun one of them would go, 'and thus commences the daily ritual...' I miss those guys.

So anyway, Tony, the roommate who was obsessed with darkness, was one day covering all the ventilators and spaces that may allow light to pass through with newspapers. That glass thingy above the door was however proving a menace to wrap up, I think the cello-tape he was using was the problem but he didn't seem to relent. I was watching him closely with so much awe, then I told him. That thing is not going to work you're wasting your time! Tony got mad. Okay, perhaps I said much more than that and with the wrong tone... but he got mad. Then I had to pull back. I said; ~~Tony, you're my friend, I love you~~ no, that's gay. I said; I'm just trying to help you by telling you the truth, this is positive criticism. And I was pretty well answered, that if I wanted to be helpful I should have been up there with him taping old Newspapers on a glass window. Fair. But I didn't like the idea of a dark room anyway.

I don't know what it is but I will criticize. I won't be one of those friends who let their so-called friends go make a fool of themselves before a multitude of people believing they have something going on when they certainly don't. That's the price you pay when you become my friend. That is why I would greatly appreciate it to be told if you had a problem with me. Which brings me to Jason, my other former college roommate. This guy kept grudges, not for long but he held on to them instead of confronting the beef. He'd give you the silent treatment, to find out the cause or to just make sure it isn't you run to facebook ASAP! It will be there.

'Stupid idiot, I'm not your momma! You came here alone..'

That will be your first clue, you wouldn't need to be Mr Holmes to figure out the rest. Oh, and I haven't yet watched that movie... but I digress. See, I remember another incident when I accidentally spilled tea on Jason's bed, people just didn't understand the 'accidentally' part mostly because I did not realize it until I had to be told hours later what I had done! What I expected from Jason was, 'you son of a bitch, I'm going to kill ya!' because everyone I met looked at me funny saying Jason was yearning for my blood. I'm narrating the story now which means I'm alive. If I were Jason I probably would have just laughed it off, I'm easy like that. And that is sometimes a problem.

I have come to learn though, that sometimes it's better to keep ones mouth shut.Sometime back I wanted to have my 15 ~~seconds~~ minutes of fame and decided to go for a certain audition which I had told not a single soul about until now. I thought then that if I kept it to myself, it wouldn't be so embarrassing and upsetting if I wasn't successful. How wrong was I! Now, I wish I'd told someone so they could stop me. I was awful. To tell someone they suck at something they think they are exceptionally good at is so hurtful, regardless who is there or who says it. It bites you inside. It shouldn't be that bad if a friend told you though, I suppose. So for me, if you're my friend, tell me. Friends only, please... to avoid misdemeanors.

In other news; I'm told it's Valentine's already?

BED [WYNDAGOLIZED]

2010-02-01T16:20:00.000-08:00

Depressed because they said he'd be next, he stood there and watched as they laid her to rest; it's too big a risk to bet especially when the price would be to be confined to a bed. As low as you get, sometimes it's best to still stay abreast of current affairs; its not '89 anymore, a whisper said in his head- people use rubber in this age. Once infected how does one turn over a new page? A carrier now so they kept him at bay. The whole saga caused him too much of pain. He yearned for his grave, his sweetheart was gone and he was too sad to pray, too upset to wail. Two parts deceit, one part of pain, that's what he sensed... that's what he felt.

His queen's name was Lynne, his princess' was Flo', short form for Florence, one girl he was fond of. Imprisoned in their fortress now things seemed so bleak, both of them couldn't sleep at night. Flo being nine she knew well mummy wasn't coming back, probably scared that daddy too was on his way. Girly has ears she heard them what they said. Perhaps that's what kept her awake. Daddy doesn't care now like he used to, when he yelled at mom when she was still here. "Go to your room, little lady!", his voice instilled fear. Now he's just there, and with his current rate he'll end up saying nine words in this whole year! But he is a fine man, she understood. A fine Daddy he is too. She was just scared, but so was Daddy.

There wasn't any noise in the house contrary to how it was before, not because they were that happy and all- no. They used to shout at each other in the morning, him and Lynne while Flo would sing aloud in the shower, her little way of escaping to live in her own world. Now there were just two people wallowing in sorrow and one of them drowning in thoughts. One of his reasons for lack of sleep were the constant memories that that bed brought back, the dreams were of Lynne's; sometimes of how they used to kiss but of also how she was a cheat! That bed is bewitched! He wouldn't even dare to blink. You see, they fought but he loved his chic like Buster sings, even their sweet daughter didn't comprehend their thing, a precocious kid, she understood too much but not this.

How could she have brought Kimberly, who's commonly known as Kim to the place that he considered sacredly his? Boundaries were crossed when he crawled over his King size bed and proceeded to devour that sweet thing with his sick thing deep in hers, sheets were soiled, so he can't again lie in that sick spot ever since she confessed in her death bed in the hospital ward. It's things like that that take you back to square one and you begin to ask yourself what the hell is this thing called love. Truth is he was guilty too but he didn't get caught. Yes, there was Eunice but she had clean blood, not a sickle-celled, anemic, asthmatic fat dude whose heart periodically failed. Not like Kim! But his love was with Lynne, he saved that for his bed, A bed that had been intruded all this time. She broke the code, right there in their home.

How does one make the deceased pay for their sins? For the disease ceases to affect the dead and the alive are advised to repent, does it seem fair? Dan hates to hear she said he said unless she said that he does it well in his bed, which only made him run to his wife bragging and spelling out his full name. All that's left now is that special bed in which the magic happened, but it's just not that special anymore and will be destroyed. Forgiveness he is not sure about, but he can't wait to crossover and regain his bitter/sweet love, whatever that is, and sleep together in a new, clean bed.

BED (PART TWO)

2010-01-25T06:56:00.000-08:00

The new bed finally was delivered, its size she hadn’t considered, well it did not matter to her, hell as long as it wouldn’t hurt her, like he did, that idiot! The house has been peaceful, the bed less sinful, her life now taking swing in full She’s no longer that fool, so long her pool, she moved houses too, it wasn’t gonna haunt her, and anyway she had to flaunt her guts, just no one knows how deep down it hurts. See, down her heart, it flows deep: the love she had for him…………

Truth be said, she’s lonely, sometimes only wishing she choose truce instead, well so much for the good times . Now reality checks, she’s alone, her chastity breaks, you can’t blame her, the nights have since been so cold, so lame, her former knight now so gone, her loner plights now a trait!

He depreciated from her world, to her ex husband, word is she appreciated the sex and his hand, always had a way of unhooking that bra, touching the right places, during “sexcapades”, caressing, undressing, kissing, sexing, adoring her in ALL WAYS!! She passionately remembers how she rode on him, like a stallion, in his book she a star y’all J so steadily was her pace, December she was completely in his mode.

A real bad habit is how she picked him up, an acrobatic is how she flipped her up, the other man in her new bed, never knew, never will. To her, he doesn’t even come close, just another brother she’s seen to use, abuse, disregard and discard. Since the divorce, she’s been in remorse! Signing those papers wasn’t easy, but hard, even tricky but now done! She’s now residing where the haters would call, “greener pastures” what no one knows is that, she’s now deciding who to call, maybe her, “inner monsters?”

It’s 1st March, exactly three months after the separation, he marched on so fast, now free to misbehave, no more deportation. Not form his country but from her territory, he’s seen need to emancipate as well, more like a clean start, you know like purgatory! She knows that she’s supposed to have moved on but suppose she can’t get her groove on with anyone else? Even worse, she’s late, she’s PREGNANT!

Note: Written by sweet Anyiko, since part one was published here, it was only right to complete what was already started.

GOD IS GOD AND MAN IS MAN

2010-01-23T22:28:00.000-08:00

‘Thou shall love your neighbour as you love yourself’ is, perhaps understandably, not the easiest commandment to keep especially if your neighbour is a pain in the… neck. So is it too much to ask of a person- to love unconditionally?

Before I can go any further I feel the need to clarify one thing which forms the basis of most of my arguments anywhere anytime, something which you may or may not agree with but hopefully it would make me better understood, but to not necessarily make you agree with me. As much as the world that we are living in is imperfect in every way, I still believe in perfectness (for lack of a better word) and the reality of it being achievable. Pure and perfect world peace, for example, is proclaimed impossible. I understand, but pure goodness does exist even if we have never ever experienced it or even heard of it. I believe in the absolute impossible in our world as we know it, which I refer to as perfect goodness.
That having been said- a truth that I’m not willing to give up, let us together explore the truth about love- pure, unconditional love. In this case for our neighbours, yes it has never been seen among men perhaps but it is there somewhere and the least we can do is try to find it and own it within ourselves and not allow anything or anyone to tamper with it. By keeping love in our hearts it will help keep us within the boundaries of the wider law which is responsible for our existence.

For example when the Muslims took to the streets and caused chaos that led to huge losses in the city of Nairobi not so long ago, Kenyans were peeved by the incident, and rightfully so. Anger is allowed, but to whom or what is the anger channeled? To the Muslims, those ungrateful Somali scumbags whom we allowed to live in our country and forgot, now they think they are equal citizens, them? How do you love such people? The only thing that is deservedly left for them is nothing less than hate, not just for those who participated in the riot but the whole bunch of them! Hate all of them, how can we tell the difference anyway? They are all Somali Muslims! Is that it? Anger is rapidly transformed to hate and before you know it the whole thing becomes personalized and people become profiled and a ‘wanted’ tag is hang on their neck. It’s so easy to become inebriated with these strong and turbulent emotions that subsequently lead us to holler abusive statements. At this point the initial wrong deed is forgotten and a specific group of people becomes a target as soon as they are labeled as the bad guys. This is by no means trying to redeem those Muslims or to imply that what they did was right or to accumulate sympathy for them. It’s to merely suggest that emotions should not be misunderstood or be exaggerated into something else, and especially not hate.

If anyone knows the slightest thing about perfectness and the whole story of purity, then he knows God and is very close to Him. And God himself gets annoyed with us sometimes if not all the time (because we sin all the time), does that make Him look at the individual wrongdoer differently? Does it make Him hate that person? I think not. So why not hate the evil deed and love the wrongdoer, is that reasonable? Just so we can be like God? When Jesus was in that church whipping the fear out of a crowd that had turned his Father’s house into a market place, kicking all their goods around, He did not at anytime think- I hate these people! But I know the response that this argument may fetch, let God be God and man be man, its hard enough being human as it is. There is no time to worry about such stuff, life is too short. We will all die and find out all the secrets of life after all.

Martin Luther King was a very extraordinary man, I think he believed in that state of pure goodness to be the ardent preacher of peace and pacifism that he was. He preached love and was himself confused I think, when he asked himself how anyone could find it in his human heart to love the white racist oppressors of their time. Many people found his call for love and peace as a counter for hatred directed to black people in America by racists as impractical and unreasonable. That ‘stupid’ belief that everything will fix itself one day by the power of that unconditional love, is what I’m talking about. That belief in that pure love and pure goodness has power over evil of any magnitude, that belief that would make people look at you and wished you came back to reality for your own good. But even in this belief one has to acknowledge that this world is imperfect and will never be perfect and neither will any of us, at least not in this life but it is not at all hopeless or naïve to believe that goodness will prevail over evil, this goodness powered by that pure love, that pure unconditional love. The idea behind it all is to mimic God, because He is pure and good.

So it is upon us all to practice that love and protect it from being distorted by our own judgment and
reasoning and emotions such as anger and pain. Injustices are going to be committed against us and we are not constrained into not seeking justice. Justice is good so it shall be granted to us and it shall prevail. There is nothing evil that shall ever conceive any lasting good. And in the final hour, it is goodness that shall emerge triumphant over evil. That’s just what love does, it brings forth goodness.

YAWN

2010-01-21T00:57:00.000-08:00

I should stop doing this, I’ve been holding this fake smile for so long I can feel my facial muscles aching. I must look ridiculous right now, like a stupid clown who’s accidentally stepped on a live wire with the expression on his face looking like he just died! Okay, I’m relaxed now, this thing is like reflex I can’t remember how I came to having that static smile on my otherwise handsome face. From now on I’m going to be real enough, at least to my self, to not fake anything. If it’s not funny then its not funny. Life couldn’t be any more unfairer, how is it that there only two groups of people who have the most nothings to talk about- boring people and people with bad breath. Now I’m stuck here watching him go on and on but little does he know…

Which brings me to my other point, how doesn’t he know? I’m yawning after every two seconds yet I’m neither hungry nor sleepy, it’s my only display of body language that is authentic which naturally means it’s easy to see that it’s overwhelming me. I’m even trying to suppress it because I’m afraid having my mouth that wide and that frequently may lead to un-wanted foreign objects down my throat! I am not paying attention, can’t you see? How mild can I put this, if boredom were music, you’d be the best artist of all time, right there at the top. Can’t even make out what all the fidgeting I have been doing denotes, how the hell does this guy interact with them females?! Everyone knows them ladies don’t speak any other language better than they do body language. The clown must be single.
If he goes ahead to narrate another one of those movies or TV shows I am going to hold my breath until I drop dead. He’s not running his mouth now. He’s stopped. There it is, that awkward silence before another story sets in. The trick is to not say a word to avoid giving him a reason to keep going.

“And have you watched 2012?”

Should I answer this? Perhaps he’ll let it go if I just look at him and play deaf.

“Have you?”

Oookay, he won’t let it go. I guess that won’t work.

“Yes.”

“Yeah, at the beginning it starts when this guy takes his kids camping…

I thought I just said I’ve watched that movie? I should just brace myself because that movie was looong, and seeing that he’s got a passion for detail it seems like I’m in for a very long ride. I could just stand up and walk away right now but we’re in my room. And what type of uncle would I be if I gave in to the urge of screaming the words “Get the hell outta my face!” to him, look at him. I’m just thankful he’s not my conscience, so I can still have real conversations with myself… in my head, like now. Yawn alert, suppress! Suppress! Oh, how else will he get the hint just let it. Oh, my. Where were we? Wait, where’s my phone I should check my Facebook inbox.

What is he laughing? Okay, I’ll let out a chuckle. Where is that damn phone, I need to keep my hands busy. I know Talliah has sent me something in my inbox anyway, I love that chic. Yawn, cover mouth! I must look like an Orang’-utan as I’m yawning. I’m getting tired, he’s sucking the energy out of me! Found you baby phone, come here.

Before I log in to Facebook and subsequently Twitter, lets fake a face that suggests attentiveness. Wow, he likes that yet what I’m wondering is how did he get that pimple on his cheek to become that big and red? He’s giving me a smile I think he’s going to tell a joke, giggle. Damn, by the look in his face I must have laughed a little too soon. And there goes the first truly funny thing, ha-ha. Look at his face now, he makes me laugh some more… Sis to my rescue, she delivers a message that mom wants nephew for something. Phew, now onto Facebook. This young man, but he’s okay he’s family.

SELF-RELIANCE

2010-01-19T22:37:00.000-08:00

According to this article (unfortunately, the link is currently unavailable) by Naomi Dunford titled why we’re broke and how to fix it which I found through this very resourceful blog, the modern human being seems to delegate more and more of his every day activities that are essential in sustaining a nourished existence to other specialist human beings. The modern man will rely on another man to grow his food, sew his garments, fix the roof of his house and so on contrary to the ancient man who did almost everything by himself. A modern man in turn specializes in another thing which he also does on the behalf of his fellow human beings. This makes the average human being of today extremely reliant on his mates and this, according to the earlier mentioned article, is what makes people broke today.

The idea may seem a little radical and unrealistic, even misguided, to most people of today’s world, primarily because it’s something we have not witnessed, possibly in our entire lives and thus do not attempt to take a shot at it because maybe the traditional way is working just fine for us or it hasn’t ever crossed our minds as a possibility. Just so I ensure we are on the same wave length, the idea I’m talking about is self-reliance in today’s human being. Imagine if you could generate your own electricity, recycle and treat your own drinking water, fix your own TV when something becomes wrong with it, wouldn’t that be something?

After reading Dunford’s article, which seemed to suggest that the way to financial freedom is through some degree of self-reliance, I appreciated the thought behind it but that’s just what it was to me until I recently watched on CNN’s Eco Solutions, where they featured an Egyptian young man in his early twenties who is taking a shot at realizing the idea. The Egyptian, who is said to have learned English from old newspapers and radio only, which is impressive in a non-English speaking country, makes his own cooking gas (two hours worth of cooking gas daily) from kitchen garbage, the by-products of that makes good manure. What’s even more fascinating is that it’s a rather simple phenomenon. In addition to that the Egyptian made himself a water heating system and a radio both of which use solar energy, all this cuts his electricity bill by half! Needless to say, he’s facing criticism in his own country from his neighbours who are not that much impressed and are skeptical about his energy saving/creation tactics. At least he is brave enough to try.

A man is not an island and we will always need one another but one thing I wish to not rely on another person is the generation of electricity. Not as long as KPLC (Kenya Power & Lighting Company) is treating us the way it is. This is something I have promised myself I would pursue, strike power bills off the utility bills list.

Currently as scientists are working day and night to come up with alternative environmentally friendly, cheap and renewable energy, biofuel has attracted significant attention. I’m mentioning biofuel here because it’s one of those things you can make at home from rotten plant material (I don’t want to bore you with technical terms). One form of biofuel is biodiesel which can be used as fuel in existing vehicles with little or no adaptation! In other words, you can make your own fuel for your car at home! It’s both simple and cheap. Give it a thought. So how self-reliant are you?

LETTER TO MY SIXTEEN SELF

2010-01-18T01:05:00.000-08:00

Hooray! My wish has been granted and I’m tagged once again by Rockhead to jot down what I would write in a letter to my sixteen year old self, now that boy desperately needs to hear from me. Hell, he needs to hear from someone because no one is paying attention! Rockhead I know I kind of solicited this tag from you, but God bless you for you have just saved a life.. or a future for that matter. Let’s make this happen…

Dear Me,

Dude, what’s up? I hope this letter finds you well, son. This is you from the future, I don’t have time to explain but just keep on reading, I just want to tip you on a few things and warn you on even fewer things but its for your own good. Plus you’ll love it, I know you do listen, it’s just that people don’t listen to you, right? Pardon me if the letter sounds a little too informal, well there you go, tip number one: pay attention in that English class when they teach you how to write letters. It’s a lot of crap but you’ll come to find out that you need that knowledge.

No kidding Wyndago, on a more serious note here is warning number one; that notebook you keep, boy, please hide it. Trust those instincts you’re having, mom is snooping around your room when you’re at school, she’ll find it. With all those mean things you wrote about her in it, you don’t want her to find it. Stop it, I know what you’re thinking- I’m you! You think you don’t care but wait til you see her when she confronts you with the book in her hands and tears rolling down her cheeks, that sight will stick in your head forever and all over sudden it won’t be a so-what typa thing. You need to grow up, and you will. At an incredibly faster than usual pace, I must say, but you must begin that journey now. Don’t argue with mom, she loves you. She’s wrong too but she loves you. You are going to have a nice relationship with her.

Now listen, right about now you’re thinking about leaving that girl… which girl you ask? You thought I was playing, huh? Don’t test me again, just do the reading. That long-term girlfriend of yours- Ruth. But you don’t have a reason to do it you’re just bored, so you are going to just cut communication and avoid her. Well, I’m not stopping you just go ahead but there is something you don’t realize at the moment. At around my time you two will be brought together by a rather bizarre coincidence and you will find out that she never forgot the whole thing whilst it was nothing to you. You’ll hurt her big, boy. I want to be friends with her now but she can’t, I think. Just make sure you’re willing to pay that price. Urgh, you’re you, what do you care? Go crazy.

I want to fill you in on something very important now, I want to confirm to you that the rumours are right. Mrs. Nindo, the English teacher has got AIDS! No, actually it’s HIV. Don’t wear that face now, it’s not like she’s going to die, and besides we’re all going to die. That woman is a strong woman, I know it’s a shocker to you that the grapevine is accurate because you don’t pay attention to them but it turns out it is this time. In my time, Mrs. Nindo has come out and is speaking out about the disease overtly. She was on National TV on some HIV/AIDS documentary, she was awesome. Mad respect for that woman, be extra nice in her class so that she may remember your face in my present time. Be the one to rub the board for her or something… but you’re just one timid boy, sigh.

Mister, you are a good kid… with a bad temper, get rid of the temper and just be plain good. Good news is that you will get rid of it. Boy, I’m so proud of you, you God-fearing fellow. God is going to make the best out of you, and there is no limit as to how best you can be. That is still into my future, I know because I received a letter like this one myself, from the future. Our elder brother says we do just fine.

PS: Tell Sis to not eat so much, she’s going to weigh about ~~one~~ two hundred pounds! You on the other hand are very sexy, incase you’re wondering.

Yours truly,
Me.
Halla!

MUSLIMS RIOT IN NAIROBI. Was Islam Defiled?

2010-01-16T00:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, after the usual Friday prayers, Muslims left Jamia mosque which is located right at the heart of Nairobi city and took to the streets to demonstrate over the detention of a Jamaican Muslim cleric who is currently held by government authorities over crimes of allegedly spreading messages of hate against non-Muslims and is said to be connected to the infamous terror group Al-Qaeda. The man who government officials say entered Kenya through the Kenya-Tanzania border is also believed to have charges awaiting him back home in Jamaica. Muslims in Kenya were not pleased with the idea of his detention and without a warning a demonstration cum riot emerged. It turned out to be one bloody affair, no really, I mean Nairobi’s central business district was turned into a small war zone. Two people lost their lives. The violence had escalated and bloomed into a Muslims Vs Christians war when other civilians joined the police in fighting the rioting Muslims, the cause for the demonstration was then quickly forgotten, or perhaps another cause was acquired and an Al Shabab flag was spotted among the protestors.

His name is Abdullah Al-Faizul, that Jamaican Sheikh. It’s such a noble thing the Muslims did though, I think, if at all they were right in doing what they did. I think it as a great gesture of love and solidarity to a fellow human being, again, if at all the Jamaican is innocent and indeed his rights were violated, since the ‘innocent’ man they were ‘fighting’ for was not even ‘one of their own’, he is from another land! And what they were concerned with was for justice to prevail and the religion of the man was not that much of an issue. But violence like that witnessed in Nairobi yesterday is not acceptable to me and I believe to most Kenyans regardless of religion. Therefore, those barbaric acts of violence are condemnable by at least my standards. I’m not conversant with much of the teachings of Islam but I am certain that Islam does not condone such acts, if I’m not wrong. If the above is true, then Muslims being such ardent advocates of justice will distant themselves from the crimes that were committed and denounce the riots as this was not their initial plan, they will do all this to redeem the religion of Islam and show the whole world that all they truly want is justice for all human beings and not only Muslims. That will teach all of us the greatest teaching of all- to love one another without prejudice.

Then again, perhaps the Muslims saw the Jamaican as one of their own- a Muslim. Let’s say religion won over patriotism. At that moment other Kenyans cease to be brothers and sisters. The Jamaican Muslim becomes the brother. Naturally as human beings, when your brother is in trouble in foreign territory you will always take his side whether he is wrong or right. Even if you can admit he was wrong, you would prefer to beg to take him home and punish him yourself the way you see fit, but you will not abandon him, because he is your brother. Sometimes, if the situation calls for it, the people who hold your brother captive become the enemy at that moment until you save your brother and go punish him yourself or otherwise. If at all the Muslim saw Faizul as a brother, then the government of Kenya which represents the people of Kenya, the same one that is holding their brother becomes the enemy. For civilians to help the police, that makes civilians enemies. If this second hypothesis is true, then the Muslims may still be right as human beings to naturally want their brother free but lose points on being justice seekers, assuming Faizul has not broken any law here in Kenya or abroad. For if he is wanted for any offence it is only right for Muslims to let the law take its course, whether or not he is one of them- a Muslim. If they do not let the law work, they damage the name of Islam as a just religion for they are not a special people, at least not here in Kenya.

Shifting from the question of whether or not the Muslims were right in what they did, what scared me during and after the riots was the profiling and hatred that is slowly brewing up. It is so frightening to see how we could live together as one people without noticing any differences in us only for the subtlest of differences as religion to suddenly be magnified to humongous magnitudes as to cause violence amongst ourselves! That scares me.

FIRST BLOGOVASSARY (AND THE WINNER IS...)

2010-01-15T16:32:00.000-08:00

The Sanctum is one year old! That makes me almost as excited as I would be if it were my birthday! It’s a miracle that this blog is still standing and I’m incredibly exhilarated about that fact. I absolutely love this blog, especially what it is now as compared to what it used to be, from its new url, new username, new template and few but very worthy new readers especially those who leave ‘educated’ comment(s). Thank you all very much (this is starting to feel like a grammy award acceptance speech). This may also be an opportune time to thank the twins of the Kenyan blogosphere, the duo that was there in the beginning, fellow bloggers who have been such an inspiration to me… and they are… *drum rolls*…. Shiko-Msa and Mama. Thank you guys.
The Sanctum wasn’t much when it began but I think it’s grown and matured into something beautiful, the place where I can just be and let it all out. The place I can just swim and wallow in my words (the rhyming- that happens occasionally when I feel poetic like right now).

If The Sanctum was a place, it would be something close to what Mr. Michuki envisions Nairobi to be, a place of quiet and peace yet buzzing with activity. If The Sanctum were to be a person, well, it would be me. If it were to be a car, it would be a Bentley. If it were a machine then it would be a… umm, what the heck, I don’t know. You fill in the blank. All I know is I want to say the best things about this blog like I wasn’t the one writing it so that I can come back and read this and act surprised and pleased like I’m not the one who wrote this post! Just like how I sent myself Christmas cards, trust me, it works the same as when you receive them from another person.

Without further ado, let’s get on with the show, The most popular post I ever wrote until now judging by number of comments, to my surprise, was the one I bashed Safaricom in. Popularest by far! It got 29 comments. Maybe less if you subtract my own comments but still… people have got issues with that mobile phone company. I would also bestow that post with the ‘Most Informative Post On The Sanctum’ award, because of the amount of constructive information every comment added to the debate. I want to the thank everyone who contributed to the comments. It’s a double win for that post.

The ‘Most Bitter Post’ award, I think that would go to the one which begs for permission to save the day. What caused the bitterness, you wonder? I would tell you but I want you to find out for yourself but you can easily guess, they are the leading source of bitterness on the planet, ironically and arguably also the leading source of joy. You can read this post to contrast, where there may still be bitterness but not on my side, it’s a dilemma.

The most passionate post… and the award goes to ‘HIV/AIDS And My People’, a post for my sick but alive brothers and sisters and a tribute to all those who succumbed. I love you all.

The Most hilarious post this past blogging year was, be silent now here it comes, don’t even walk… this post! I do not write many funny posts so this may be as funny as I can get, or perhaps we will find out this blogging year. And if I’m not funny then I just might have a new entry in my list of facts that I just won’t accept!

Last but not least, I’m going to say right now I’m sick of talking- the sternest post. And that brings us to the end of this prestigious ceremony

I’m so thankful this day fell on a Saturday, Aloha everyone! It means hallo but I just felt the need to use that word. I need to rush to the spot and celebrate…

BED

2010-01-12T05:33:00.000-08:00

That bed was more than just a bed to her. In her head it was more than just giving head… but more like just a band. You know where songs & games were played, not anyhow with rubber band but with rubber. Most nights, it was touchdown as he touched her down…… down south. & she played it down. In her head the bed was a haven, where memories were made. A heaven where babies were made, just no one knew one day it would all cascade….

All the still years and she dint even know whether she loved him. After all the tears and she still dint even know whether she loathed him. Well, his T-shirt is what she loved. Long, short or tight always fit well for the night and made her feel secure. She loved him in Shirts and shorts too, he dint know love well but craved her in two things, short skirts and at night in his T-shirt. It made him feel brave and pure ….

What she hated was that shit he constantly repeated, cheating on her. What she debated was those sheets she consistently changed. The downside, burn them up or let the feelings burn inside? See like Chingy, every time she tried to leave something kept holding her back and he said she was clingy. See like Ashanti, every time she got the strength to leave the house, he always told her that she was his need. Felt like, home turned into a shanty.

So its hard to let go of the years, so she’s mad she let the tears flow. So its harder to pack her bags and leave, so he heard her cry in the back of the room,saw her eye bags & he fears…. that he had her in that same room bt she gon leave using that sane route.She decides, that one day is no day but today to be precise. She can’t leave coz that cunt will take over her bed!! Instead she will just make him leave, the homestead will & must breath…

She regrets that the marriage was speedy, she bets they were needy. Till death do us part, now she would die to be apart. It will be long processing a divorce, but it’s a process she devotes all her longing.So he is moving out, she is moving on. You see, like Usher its like moving mountains. She is certain she will usher the new beginning.The love making was great not demeaning but there lies a greater meaning after such heart breaking!!You see, one more speedy thing she doesn’t wanna be dependent on his shit, his bed, sheets and nets!! no more. Miss independent got it on speed dial, she’s calling Barnettes …….

Note: This blog post was written by anyiko who was nice to let me republish it on The Sanctum. You can find the original post here. I just loved this so much!

TAGGED- WYNDAGO RELOADED.

2010-01-09T17:14:00.000-08:00

It is always a great pleasure for me to get tagged but before I attend to that I want to announce that this blog is approaching its first anniversary later this month, perhaps for that reason I did not anticipate just how difficult it would be to come out of December holidays into January with your writing charm intact! I should include this tiny element in my blogging equation come next year. But I think I’m pulling through just fine.

On to the main subject, the good rocker (I presume, judging from the username) who goes by the name rockhead tagged me, I’m supposed to write ten things about myself that the blogosphere might not know about me. Now, I have done this before here. Nevertheless I am doing this again and I have decided not to read the previous post in order to come up with a fresher, original me. So here it goes.

1. I have certainly forgotten what a day looks like at sunrise because I am so not a morning person! I sleep through most mornings and stay awake a good portion of the night. Dare nobody judge me though, I am not a bird and I’m not looking to catch any worms and this does not by any means render me ~~lazy~~ indolent. (Yeah, I’d rather be indolent that lazy. The word just sounds classy) Although I must admit, given the circumstances, this is going to change soon.

2. I get attached to objects, for example, and this for some uncanny reason reminds me of dogs, there is a particular plate in my house I insist eating on, a particular glass I must drink from… I wouldn’t even change my faulty mouse for my computer because its got ‘history’. One time the last of my favourite glasses broke, I couldn’t help to think of all the things I could have done that I didn’t that would have changed its fate, yet I wasn’t the one who dropped it on floor. Thoughts like, if only I could have been there… the memories bring tears to my eyes.

3. Seeing that half the objects I get attached to mentioned above are culinary objects, it won’t win you a medal if you guessed that I love good food, keyword being GOOD, then food follows. When I say good, don’t get it twisted please, I simply mean delicious! I don’t need to know what it is, but in addition to it being edible food, it should as well look edible.

4. I like compliments coming from the fairer sex, it tickles me. I might even try to get it out from them by giving subtle hints, and if it doesn’t work I sometimes find myself compulsively blabbering all the things I wanted to hear them say. And that’s when I’m misunderstood…

5. I have a weird habit of eating my nails! I remember this was included in the other post, I still do eat my nails. I nurture them until they grow to certain lengths and carefully ‘harvest’ them and chew them up one at a time. A good source of protein if you ask me. It may sound gross, well I don’t think it is, I clean them regularly!

6. I get exhausted from talking, I strongly believe its because of the fact that I am not a talker, I like to be alone most of the time. So when I engage in an argument or I contribute a lot at a gathering where there is a lot of story telling and laughter, I get tired of talking. My mouth just starts feeling different and my voice changes a bit, it becomes hoarse.

7. I talk to myself out loud it’s not even funny! Sometimes I’m tempted to think that I just like the sound of my voice.

8. The things I hate most on TV are those ‘oga’ movies (Nigerian movies), and I’m so close to breaking the TV screen because of those excuses of movies (?). They just make me sick, they are one of those things I propose people should atleast do in seclusion. Not a pretty scene at all, so to speak.

9. I find it somehow unsatisfactory when I shorten words for a text message so I end up writing every word in full. I usually have this notion in my head that when I shorten words, maybe the reader may not know what I meant to write. That in turn sparks a debate in my head about whether or not I took out too many letters so one by one I progressively add them until the word is in full. That way no one loses the debate in my head… don’t even ask anything.

10. *Sigh* Lastly, people don’t usually believe it, I fail to understand why, but I’m a first born. And so proud of it. I’m like the third parent in the house, that’s a big responsibility- to boss people around is not easy, it takes years of experience.

So there you have it folks, the things you didn’t know about Wyndago. Remember, you heard it here first.

Since I’m doing this the second time, I have technically told you close to twenty things about me that you didn’t know about my incredible self! Wow.

If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged.

OUR WOMEN AND THEIR TRAIT.

2010-01-05T05:34:00.000-08:00

Our women don’t appreciate us enough, and that is what they are doing wrong. But we love our women so much, it’s not out of place to hear one of us assert that Nairobi women are the most beautiful, curvaceous and sexiest beings on earth, but I am yet to hear a single woman, even when intoxicated with the drink or in my wildest dreams (and I do dream wild dreams), say that Kenyan men are romantic. That is just the general perception but it’s sadly true even when reduced to individual level. Our women want us to do everything and give nothing back, and by giving back I don’t mean sex.

Here is a theory that our ladies have been transfixed on long enough for them to believe it and it’s almost become a law: A woman shall not admit to a man how she truly feels because if the man finds out he will but only take advantage of it and break her heart. A Kenyan woman will like you, but she wouldn’t admit just how much because you just might feel too sweet, so a man may go ahead and say all the i-love-you’s and i-miss-you’s, call her all the babe’s and the sweetheart’s, you might as well get laid but she will not say it with her lips that you are romantic or the best. No out-of the-ordinary compliment will come your way, buddy. And trust a Kenyan woman to say something mean whenever you blow your own horn. Things like “Boy , please..” and “Don’t flatter yourself, Romeo”, feel me? But dare you stop the gush of compliments to her and all over sudden you don’t really love her.

This is even truer for women who have undergone a heartbreak at some point in their life. Yeah, that’s where another prick of a man spoils it for the rest of us and you end up becoming the relationship messiah, paying for the sins of another. She really likes you and really wants you but will always keep you close enough to not ward you off or make you feel unwanted. You are never going to know for sure and she won’t make a choice after a long time yet pushing her to the corner might not be the best thing to do. I heard it and happen to know that it’s a risk to let someone else in completely, but women and their emotions… when love ends it becomes disastrous for them.

For women who are uncontrollably scared of heartbreaks, I probably could understand but our women have an unreasonable trait of always putting us down when we are working hard to impress them, possibly to trim or keep our pride in check. Men are men, we have an ego, take our masculinity away and what do we have left? I’d say nothing. So ladies let your man have his moments and when they arise, lie if you have to we do that all the time.

“Hey, baby you’re the best”

“You’re the handsomest on the planet”

“My ex has got nothing on you”

You know, little lies here and there, you think we don’t like that crap? If it didn’t cross your mind then now you know.

Lastly, I hereby testify that all the women from the rest of the world have got nothing on our Kenyan women! And that’s real.

RHETORIC.

2009-12-25T13:19:00.000-08:00

Words are powerful. They may not be able to break your bones or cause you any physical harm but words can be dangerous if misused. All powerful things are. Whatever you say with your mouth goes a long way, sometimes it does not only have an effect on you but also on the people who are listening, more so if they take heed.

They say it is better to listen than to talk, but how do you avoid being consumed by the words of the talker? Because words are not just words, they evoke emotions. When this occurs, people become attached and form opinions after which they epitomize those opinions and emotions. This can be a good thing, but not always. I once became a victim without noticing, in a way that was not good.

I always desire to be on the side of the truth, regardless of how it makes me feel. Whether or not it favours me but sometimes, if not most times, the truth resembles the lie too much to tell the difference. My father and I used to argue a lot about Kenyan politics (I quit because arguing only left me drained with nothing achieved), he was for one political party and to him, there was nothing the rival party could do that would be right. So I would argue with him just to reveal the other side of the coin but not that I supported the other party, just to make things level, trying to state little truths here and there.

Election time came in 2007 and the news were selling filled with so much tribal rhetoric in them. That election was the first I was liable to vote. So I listened, not only to politicians but also to people who surrounded me, they seemed to say similar things. Not much was being said about the issues, people did not care about those, they had already made up their minds based on tribe on who they were going to vote for, all that their tribal leaders had to do was say anything and it would be right to them. And then it became ugly, people became emotional, I gradually took sides based on what I heard being said, mostly fuelled by hate. Sometimes its not how you say it, sometimes its just what you say, period. Thankfully I was not infected by hate. But I took sides and I put my faith in a bunch of greedy people whose ideologies I did not even agree with, just because they talked loudest, just because they moved crowds (including me), I could see during the campaigns that they lied, but on election time I took sides because of their stupid rhetoric. Why did I take sides, both sides were the same.. liars! What happened to the truth?

I was watching Christiane Amanpour interviewing President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe on CNN the other night. This man has caused his country a lot of economic turmoil, that is the common knowledge. I was surprised that he would even accept an interview with Christiane Amanpour on CNN! Again, I listened. He made sense in the beginning, talking like the very educated man that he is, he was so convincing! Then I thought, there goes that rhetoric again. But I was glad to see that later he was asked a tough yet simple question and he practically choked on air, pausing for a good thirty seconds before he could answer. Then everyone could see the lie. From this interview I learned that Mr. Mugabe is not a simpleton, he just lacks wisdom.

The thing is to listen and to receive the words as a separate entity from the person saying the words so that your opinion of the person does not affect your judgment towards the words that he is saying. Because just because a person is an idiot, it does not mean that he is wrong. On receiving the words, it is upon an individual to use their wisdom to evaluate those words and to decide what lessons, conclusions or opinions can be formulated from those words. For there is something to learn from everything that you listen to, even from evil words. But I could be wrong, and that is the beauty of life.

CROOKED STEPS OF MY BABY BLOG

2009-12-21T18:10:00.000-08:00

Blogging, which I began as an experiment, has been such a fulfilling experience for me. I started off pretty confused but now that I’m enjoying it, it engenders the feeling that one does not command a strong presence on the web if you don’t have a blog. A blog is like a baby you give birth to and nurture to its full growth, the son (or daughter) that is going to represent you and speak for you. One thing I have learnt in this blogging business is that bringing up a healthy baby is difficult.

Honestly speaking I’m still partially confused about my baby. Sometimes I wonder if I picked the right path for my son to follow as he grows. Every parent wants their kid to amount to something in the future. I remember when I newly became a parent some old parents advised me; just let the kid be, allow him the liberty of choosing his own future, he’ll be okay. He is your baby, don’t let anyone tell you how to raise him! I liked that advice. I adhered to it. But sometimes I wanted to cover my face when people saw my son, because when they see my son they see me. When they see my mistakes manifest in my son, they see how fallible I am, you follow?

Anonymity is something you should greatly consider before you plunge yourself into blogosphere, especially if you intend or may find yourself writing personal posts from time to time. This varies from person to person, some people first start with an alias only to give it up and reveal themselves as soon as they get comfortable with it, others start and continue with their real names to the end. In blogoshere, you may have the right to remain silent, but whatever you say can and may be used to judge you in the court of blog. When I began blogging, I knew little about the activity. My url had my full name in it and it didn’t take me long to want to change it, only recently did I find out that I could do that, so I did.

The Sanctum, you want to know how that name came about? I was listening to Eminem’s ‘sing for the moment’ song, and the cursor kept blinking at the name-of-blog space… then came the line ‘..a sinner’s mind is a Sanctum..’ in the Eminem song, and the rest is history. I don’t know if a random pick of a blog’s name like that is wise, do not do that, unless you want to end up with names like Doubt Fire. Nevertheless, I don’t think the meaning of my blog’s name deviates so much in describing the blog. My advice to aspiring bloggers is to hold a vigorous debate in your head before you proceed to choose a name for your blog to make sure it gives a hint to what the blog is all about. Most importantly, just be unique.

Everything about this blog is random like that. Every now and then along the way I wanted to give it a new image, a new identity. Blogging can become so confusing when you cover everything and anything that comes to your mind. Both for you and your readers, but it’s cool if you can handle it, I think I am. Just that I would prefer to know where to go to to read about what. To give an identity to your blog, stick to one or a few subject topics please. But not this blog, just trust me you future parents, you hear me? Stick to a few subject topics! Do not follow into the crooked steps of this baby.

SORT OF LIKE

2009-12-17T16:57:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time

I was sort of like
Like so bored of life
I discarded the fight
I discouraged myself
But I saw the light
Now I so delight
But I’m cold as ice
And I was poor as mice
But just what I thought I was
I have gold, I’m wise
When your thoughts are nice
When they’re clean and white
You’ll escape demise
I mean, sort of like
Like sure I’m right
No, like soul and mind
Yeah that’s it, I’m right
I like these poems I write
When I mold it up
Like sort of like
A pot or cup
That’s how I grew up
I was well molded up
So now I’m like
Sort of upright

THERE IS JOY IN GIVING

2009-12-13T15:57:00.000-08:00

Walking on street pavements around Nairobi and seeing the different array of beggars from the disabled to the sick and to the physically normal people over the years, made me develop an attitude of contempt towards them, chiefly because I felt they had many more options aside from seeking handouts from other human beings who are just like them. I felt like they could do better to fend for themselves, at some point I even blamed them for whatever plight they undergo. I asked myself, why are other people poor while others are not? I thought maybe if anyone understood this one thing then perhaps they’d be better placed, including me, to truly help the poor.

But this was just a notion I had in my head, just a political thought. The poor I had in mind were not the ones sitting on the roadsides with placards beside them with a long medical history written on them, hoping to get money off the public. The poor to me were not beggars, those are just lazy people looking for an excuse to not have to work. The poor is that mother of a two year old child from the slum trekking to Nairobi’s CBD every day to sell sweets and cigarettes only for city council officers to topple her carton-made stand, and scatter all her stuff on the road. The poor is that family of orphans who have to work odd jobs to support each other.. those are the poor! I have always had the heart to give but I either thought of it as something to be done in future (when I’ll have something significant to give) or, whenever confronted with an opportunity, thought that the person(s) in question did not deserve it.

I walked by a blind beggar not so long ago, stretching out his hand, holding a tin, singing a gospel song, praising God. I remember thinking ‘if you truly believe in your God then why are you begging amongst men, beg your God and He’ll provide.’ I never gave a single cent to a beggar because I never believed in handouts- free things. When approached by those ‘~~dirty folks’~~ beggars I’d mean mug them like they were just about to take what’s mine and say words to shoo them away. I really did give them a bad look and when that made them back off it made me feel like I knew the street. I felt so because one of them had tried to extort me back in the day, he showed me a packet of ‘human wastes’ and a few sharp tools he had in possession inside his coat and threatened to use them if I did not pay up.

Then God spoke to me. Yes, God. He spoke to me. He said ‘Wyndago, ye my child thou need to learneth something’. Alright I did not exactly hear a voice speak but look, I had a sudden change of heart and a new attitude towards beggars was implanted in me in a split second (snap!). I strongly perceive it to be God speaking to me. It happened recently when I had just said another ‘no’ to a beggar. I felt compassion and all the times I turned my back on a beggar flashed before my eyes… and I was sorry. Then I felt the need to give. I woke up one morning and decided to pursue any beggar to not only give him/her money but to buy them food, and shake his hand, and wish him a good day. I had only fifty shillings with me so I was planning for just one beggar. I did not find any beggar around my neighborhood that day.

Yesterday, a friend of mine and I were approached by a street child, she carried a baby on her back and she asked us for money. I had no cash but my friend without hesitation stopped to look for loose change in her purse, I felt so ashamed that my friend wouldn’t even hesitate when I can’t remember the last time I gave to a beggar probably because I had never. Meanwhile I engaged the street girl in a friendly small talk. Asking her if she took anything for breakfast, she stopped to think but eventually said “tulikula mandazi”. I was impressed that she told the truth! She had paused to think whether or not to lie, it was about noon and she must have been tempted to lie to make us sympathize with her to lead us (my friend) to give her more money. Then she gave me a look mixed with both surprise and appreciation. I did not give the kid money, but I gave her something.

It feels good to care about people who other people care less about. There is so much joy in giving to the needy! Moral of the story; when you give, give with your whole heart and not just to get rid of loose change that make noise in your pocket. Give with compassion. Do it for the joy of it, it doesn’t matter whether or not they deserve it, appreciate it or pretend to be needy. Just do your part and always give! give! give! Even when you don’t have money, stop and show them that you care. That is our duty as God’s people, not something we do when we please.

Merry Christmas.

WHICH RADIO STATION ARE YOU?

2009-12-13T15:25:00.001-08:00

The ‘Oh’ moment as described by Barney on How I Met Your Mother season 2 inspired this post. According to Barney, when dating someone you don’t need to know much about them so as to delay the ‘Oh’ moment until after you get what you want (sex). The ‘Oh’ moment is when you find out something about your date that will give you reason to not go on with your advances on her, for example, when she suddenly tells you she’s bulimic, or married, or celibate… then you find yourself going, ‘Oh.’

Well, on first dates people talk about a lot of nothings and music is a popular topic to pop up. People mostly listen to the radio for the music, so they will listen to the station that plays their favourite music. But with time I came to notice (on dates) that people who listen to certain stations have some common traits. So whenever I went out for first dates I asked about favourite radio stations and when the answer came as certain radio stations, it made me go, ‘Oh.’

Here’s what the radio stations say about you in my book.

Capital fm

• You can be so full of yourself sometimes when you let your confidence override your humility, although you have it under control most of the time. You have class and because of that you always sought after that good life and you never get complacent.

• When it comes to music, you’re not an a-little-bit-of-everything kind of person, there are genres of music you have made a part of your life. You buy authentic music and like your music organized, songs that stimulate similar moods are put together in your mp3 player.

• Love. Cheating is not in you and when you find yourself doing it it kills you inside so you are comparatively faithful. You like to be shown affection but you’re not lovey dovey and always strive to stay on planet earth about the whole notion of love. Fun to be with but hard to get… and to find.

• Very talkative and opinionated.

Kissfm

• Everybody knows you are a sucker for soap operas. Kissfm’s are an emotion-driven bunch and what people say about you bothers you a lot even though you won’t admit it to yourself. Whatever is in fashion you must have it but you are willing to overlook quality and go for what is aesthetically attractive.

• You speak Swanglish, something like, I was busy so I couldn’t pitia, the boss zushad about leaving work early.

• You are an a-little-bit-of everything type of person when it comes to music. So long as it is new and it sounds good to the ear, it’s good. You are a radio junkie and perhaps due to that you rarely know any music that does not get air play. You don’t buy music.

• You talk too much, in an annoying kind of way.

• Holidays and anniversaries have to be special for you (Valentine’s Day, Christmas and Birthdays).

These ones don’t differ much from Easyfms.

Homeboys Radio (HR)

• A hip-hop head who drinks a lot but not to the point it becomes a problem. You like to go out on Fridays.

• You speak a lot of American slang that may not make sense to some people sometimes, occasionally adding four-letter words. You are too concerned with new trends, fads and the likes.

• You like your music blasting and are probably considered a nuisance in your home or home area.

• You like being part of a group, a clique if you may, just to hang around or doing something that you mutually like such as dancing, acting.

• An HR is a party person so you can always find him/her where its buzzing.

Ghetto Radio

Interesting fact: I have not yet encountered a single lady who admitted to me that they listened to this radio station so I guess it’s safe to assume that all female GhettoRadio’s are all liars!

• The original hip hop head. Never looks for love, love only finds him.

• You are down to earth but quick to proclaim that you’re street smart. You believe good things never happen until they are made to happen, usually by the same person to whom the good thing happened.

• Speak in Swahili slang

• You are an ardent admirer of local art, from music to graffiti.

• Sometimes you buy authentic local music

• You loyal to friends.

Xfm

• You know what you want and so you take it

• You are an interesting person but other people can’t realize that until they spend a considerable amount of time with you.

• An introvert who likes peace and quiet.

• Sometimes you talk to yourself loudly

Note: Most people don’t always listen to one radio station so depending on the proportion at which you listen to different radio stations, you may have varied characteristics from different radio stations. But you are always more of one radio station than another.

I'M A 80'S BABY

2009-12-07T05:54:00.000-08:00

Babies of the 80’s, those were the last good bunch of babies, the generation that scooped that last bit of fun in real childhood. I mean real childhood. Life was good then, there wasn’t global warming or the numerous TV stations we have today, and perhaps because of that we had plenty of time to be real kids rather than trying to act older than we were.

And parents were parents, discipline was effectively instilled in a child whenever he displayed the slightest sign of drifting away from the right path and was promptly ‘straightened up’. Get home past the curfew- whoop ass! Return from the shop without the bread he had been sent or the money because he lost it on the way- whoop ass! Hell, look at your momma wrong and you get a whoop ass! That wasn't the good part for us kids but the point is things were in order.

Fast forward to 2009, parents went stale like they had a use-before date. Parenting stopped. My nine year old sister's favourite commercials are the 'tumechill' and 'shake-shake' (that one for sanitary pads, she loves the song!) commercials. She won't stop singing and reciting what they say in those commercials. I did not have an issue with that until she approached me and asked about the tumechill symbol; is it like this (normal peace sign) or like this (peace sign with fingers close together)?

'I don't know', I muttered, 'how did you see them do it on TV?'

'Like this', she said waving the normal peace sign.

My argument is this; yes, I'm a first born but I am NOT a parent yet! Where are the parents at? If I go through this, will I have to go through it with my kids too? Oh, I guess I'll leave it for my first born kid, they really do come in handy those ones. I just need to make sure I give him enough whooping while he's still young, he'll take care of the rest.

'Daddy, can I ask you something?', that would be my 6 year old daughter asking in the year 20__ something, in a curious but sweet face. You know how adorable kids can be.

'Sure, honey. You know daddy's a genius. Shoot'

'What's a blow-job?'

'Aah, that's easy. Go ask your big brother!'

Boys are easy, you just buy them a couple of porn magazines on their 14th birthday and they'll learn everything by themselves. More effective than an uncomfortable lecture by his old man. Seriously though, nobody should buy their teenage boys porn magazines, I'm just saying it works better.. a win-win, everyone gets what they want. As for girls.. once they get comfortable they get it all out, I'm not sure I'd like that. That's where mothers come in, I guess.

My siblings are growing up in a very different environment, right from the realm of the family. They get to watch TV 'til midnight, I used to be sent to bed by 9pm. My mother used to switch off the TV on me and made me do homework or some excuse of a chore, now I settle down to watch TV and it's not odd to hear her yell from another room:

'Let your sisters also watch what they want to!'

Even when they don't want to watch. I don't know what changed.

These '90's babies don't know any better but lucky for them they have us, the generation that will make the coolest parents. If they pay attention the may learn our swagger. The revolution is here and it's ours- babies from the error of good music but bad sense fashion- The Eighties.

HIV/AIDS AND MY PEOPLE.

2009-11-30T23:48:00.000-08:00

Who’s fault is it? It’s their fault- them! They are the ones who went sleeping around with random people and failed to take the simplest precaution of using a condom. That’s plain stupid and ignorant, it’s their fault!!

To begin with, they KNOW. They know it MAY have been stupid, they go through a lot of trauma by themselves and they don’t need anyone else to add to their psychological burden. It does not necessarily make them stupid or ignorant and the rest of us are more or less like them by virtue of being human. We make mistakes, we all tell lies, how can one redeem himself and claim he’s a saint? Tell me, are you saint?

It really does not help to point fingers, it’s my fault or it’s his fault, you think it would make the virus go if at all it wasn’t the fault of a HIV/AIDS patient that he/she has it? Time has come to fight in the right battle, kill in the right war, recruit in the right army and to march in the right direction to deter the human race from entirely being pervaded by this virus.

I’ve seen it first hand, it was right in my backyard. My mother’s sister was infected with AIDS and I didn’t need to be told, I called that woman my aunt. She was my family. She got so sick, she got so thin. No, she lost all meat because all that was left were bones, she looked like sticks. To look a little normal she had to wear more clothes. I wondered how she walked. When I looked into her eyes, she looked ashamed. I was just a little boy, some things I just couldn’t ask. She died, you see? She left two baby girls, the little one is sick too. She got infected during birth, you see how it doesn’t matter who you blame?

Most of my friends are jack rabbits, it’s a fact and I can’t hide it. Listen, it’s not perfectly safe but at least have a rubber on when you get to humping. That’s how real the threat is, you see? Sometimes we tend to forget, or we choose to forget until something tragic happens close to where we are standing. Or a little later when it happens to us. Then we scream “NOT AIDS!!”, and we wonder how it happened. Not a single person is immune, it could happen to me just as it could it happen to you.

People with the virus are an obvious target for stigmatization. It may not mean much to you as to why they should or should not be stigmatized until it happens to someone you immensely love. Then all over sudden it will become so senseless, you find yourself asking questions like; why do people do this? Infected people are not deprived of brains, they are not handicapped. They won’t unexpectedly just drop dead due to their condition. As far as I am concerned they do not fall under any special group of people. Not unless they themselves put themselves in that box, and even then it would be a hoax!

My High School English teacher is a heroine. She taught me English literature too, the Lord knows I did enjoy her lessons because when she spoke I’d wish she never stopped. She had these interesting stories that had beautiful endings. She had more to share with us than what was written in the books. You see, she is positive. I mean HIV positive. I heard the rumours then, but I didn’t pay attention to them. But my teacher Mrs. Nindo is a heroine, I saw her on TV talking about HIV/AIDS. The stigma she went through, the fact that she’s still here is proof enough of the amount of courage she possesses. My teacher is a good woman, and a very great one. I am very proud of her.

A NEW CONSTITUTION AND REFORM.

2009-11-25T07:15:00.000-08:00

Nothing will bring us change, not the law, not the international community, not even The Hague, but ourselves. For that reason I do not expect any change in ourselves as individuals making up a nation to arise due to the enactment of any law or set of laws because we are a corrupt people. Therefore expecting a new constitution to magically transform this whole nation by creating a whole new political platform and eventually making our intricate problems or challenges a little solvable is absolutely dreamy. As much as the current constitution may have erroneous laws, or laws that are unjust, we should ask ourselves about the remaining ‘sound’ part of the current constitution, does it serve us any good, equally without discrimination, does it protect us and preserve our rights? On paper it does, but it is us who contaminate it with corruption and greed. A new constitution may be a good thing for this country, but it won’t bring any more change than itself- a new constitution, if we don’t change as well.

Some Kenyans consider a new constitution as the starting point, the first step to change or reform but it shouldn’t be. Having this notion evokes the feeling that if we as a nation fail to acquire a new constitution this time round then we wouldn’t be able to move on. Not to undermine the importance of the constitution, but it is just a document written by individuals to depict how power is going to be shared and how the country will be governed, period. Whether or not it works for us does not entirely depend on the document itself but also on us. We decide. So in the end, change comes from within us.

At the core of all our troubles lies tribalism. Some assert that it can never ever be solved. But we owe it to ourselves and to prove to the rest of the world that we can be big enough to solve a problem of this enormity and not just kick it by the side to avoid facing it. Intermarriages could serve a great purpose to that effect but it may not be the best option because it MAY mean dissolution of the tribes, which is something we don’t desire and it also it would constitute kicking the problem by the side so we won’t have to actually resolve it. The cause of tribalism is not the tribes themselves but the people of the respective tribes. Tribalism can be eliminated, it can be done faster and sooner than we’d like to think, it can be done tomorrow! There is no reason to wait a another decade or century. Only we can bring change, and it begins right when we start seeing each other as partners, from there greater positive change will come.

There’s not a doubt about how tribalism can be dealt with, tribalism is as a result of ignorance and ignorance can be reversed by only one thing- education. Not education as we Kenyans have been made to believe it is, as to having our heads cramped with so much information in our memories which we may not fully understand, but education as being liberal and independent in our thoughts and being able to form an opinion based on the facts and having the ability to dissociate our personal interests and emotions in our final judgment for the greater good of the nation or even in our personal lives. This education can happen both inside and outside classrooms. It is doable.

When we have a population educated in the sense described in the previous paragraph, change becomes inevitable. Everything would fall in its rightful place, because then we would give more consideration to the unborn children in making decisions of national interest. When it comes such a time when we can rise to reach the level selflessness in order to attain greater good for the nation, at that time there would be nothing to stop us. As it is now, we are our own worst enemy.

Revisiting the issue of new constitution, the draft constitution has renamed and scrapped off some national days. In my opinion this to some extent erodes that Kenyan sense of pride, because it seems like whoever changed it saw something wrong with the initial name, and therefore we may have been celebrating a lie all this time. The same can be said of holidays cancelled from the calendar as national days. It’s like renaming Christmas!

FRESH OUTTA COLLEGE.

2009-11-20T12:31:00.000-08:00

Fresh outta college. Job seeking now.. internship, whatever. So I find myself at the doorsteps of the company I worked for about a year ago on attachment. I know his name so I spit it out when I was asked whom I wanted to see, right there at the gate by them uniformed watchmen- the human resource guy. How hard can it be to see a person without an appointment? So they called in to check if he was in, right from the gate. No he's not in, but you can wait, they say, pointing at the bench.

'Right here?!', i thought. 'It rained this morning, its drizzling, i'm freezing, i have only a shirt on, you want me to sit here on a wooden bench with you!' Haha, funny. What the hell is the reception inside for?

I just want to drop shit and I'm out. Convinced they let me in. Lie. But the other lie was on me though, at the reception I ask for Mr. Musyoka, that's the human resource boss, and the receptionist says he's in.

'Have a seat and wait.'

The stupid idiot didn't want to see me all this time! See, he told me last year that I could come back when I get done with college. Perhaps I should have made an appointment then. The receptionist did a good job though, bugging him every other minute about this young man waiting. 'Til he asked for me to be put on the phone.

'Hallo'

'Hallo, my name is Wyndago...'

'Yes?'

'..and I was here on attachment last year and...'

'SO?'

That 'SO?' just threw me off. I had to rearrange my thoughts.

'You told me I could come back so i...'

'I told you to come?'

'NO! ...I mean yes. No, you told me last year.'

Pointless.

They were nice to send me down a cute lady to talk to me. No space for me until maybe January. MAYBE. So now I'm looking at other alternatives.
This job seeking business is just something. That was just my first attempt and it was enough to make me want to do my own thing! Actually, no... I've always wanted to do 'my thing' ever since forever, today's incident just rekindled the feeling. But can one do his thing being fresh out of college? YES. I mean, it's possible, isn't it? No room for negative thoughts.

Anyway, before I settle down to doing whatever it is I'll end up doing, I'm open to work any where. Even volunteer work, perhaps I should start by helping to plant trees in the Mau. My aim is to gain experience in whichever field, and in interaction, handling and working with different people. Yes, I said whichever field. You can't believe how fast I can learn and perfect a skill. I mostly want to work for small time people, businesses that are trying to come up. You have a small business? Call me. E-mail me, shadywane(at)gmail(dot)com.

So what skills do I have? I can write. I love it, to write that is. Computers, I'm fond of these machines. I can network a set of computers and do lots of other amazing stuff with them. Currently I'm learning how to use CAD (Computer Aided Design). I can sing, everyone says I should have been on Tusker Project Fame and that both Alpha and Ng'ang'alito have nothing on me. If you got kids you can hire me rock 'em to sleep. Or even yourself. Another skill I posses is in motors. Those are tremendously awesome machines, people. They are applicable in almost every other machine system. I can go on and on, but I'll close this chapter by saying, I cook good too. A brother has skills.

MAKE YOUR BLOG MOBILE

2009-11-06T01:08:00.000-08:00

Nothing is of great importance to bloggers as traffic. It's hard to think of another thing that would bring a serious blogger more delight. A blogger can probably win a few readers but to keep them coming back a blogger needs to pay just as much attention on the general outlook and simplicity (for lack of a better word) of the blog as he should on the content. Simplicity here refers to the conveniency of the site, readers should be able to find what they are looking for with ease. But most of all bloggers and indeed website owners should worry more about the ease of their site's accessibility, especially through the mobile phone. And especially bloggers from this region and the generally the East.

In Kenya for example, the number of internet users is steadily growing and a large portion of these users use mobile phones for the internet most of the time, I being among them. I use Opera Mini to browse the internet, yes it helps to make PC websites 'fit' on a mobile phone screen but when the site is too large, maneuvering around it can be cumbersome and also make your phone slower. That is why I desired to create a mobile site for my blog and I was surprised at how there are so many alternatives to that effect. Left me wondering what I had been waiting for all this time. Having a mobile site for your blog or website has become so necessary. I being a thorough user of mobile phones for the internet can't help but avoid certain blogs which I know to be extremely large and save it for when I'm near a PC. On the contrary I'm filled with a lot of relief when I'm re-directed to a mobile phone version of site.

The most popular website for the creation of mobile sites is Mofuse. They do it for free and is unbelievably simple. You can have your mobile site running in under 5 minutes! I tried it. But I wasn't impressed with Mofuse so much though, but if you are using a mobile phone to view this, you can view the mobile site for this blog here.

First, for blogger blogs, people trying to access the blog cannot automatically be re-directed to the mobile site when they are using a phone, so you have to promote the mobile site separate from the PC version of the site. As for wordpress blogs, there's a pluggin that you can download and install in your site to allow for re-directing. Second, I could not find my comments in my mobile site yet that is one of the reasons why I wanted a mobile site- to make commenting using a mobile phone easy both for me and my readers. Currently I'm looking into the following other options...

And these are other websites from where you can create a mobile site;

1. Mobify.me: Mobify is a free service that makes WordPress, Drupal and other websites mobile-friendly. That is how it defines itself. Here you can design a mobile layout for your website and also capture mobile traffic from Twitter & Google. Not bad.

2. Bango

3.Zinadoo

4. XtGem.com: This website as I see it is just a mobile site builder and does not convert an existing PC website into a mobile one.

5. Winksite: This website allows you to mobilize your website, blog and twitter feeds. It also lets you personalize your mobile site with your own sense of style. In addition to that you start a mobile chat room, forum or poll. This I may like, moving on.

6. FeedM8 (Feed-mate): According to the site itself, this is a whole new way to get the mobile web. You can get your favorite blogs or feed-enabled websites on your mobile device. This means you get all the popular sites, top news, social networks, sports, celebrity and weather updates all on your mobile phone--anytime, anywhere. The content is designed for your mobile phone and it's optimized, so it's fast and uses very little data. Plus if you have a blog or a feed-enabled website, you can get it on FeedM8. Thus you can create a mobile site of your blog here.

7. MobisiteGalore

MAVUNO CHURCH

2009-11-03T06:26:00.000-08:00

It is a very well known church now and it needs no introduction like it used to a couple of months ago when folks even demanded for it to be explained to them why the name Mavuno (Swahili word for harvest), presuming it meant a place where money is being extorted from the congregation in form of offerings. I don't know why the name Mavuno but it I sure come out that dome at Belle Vue every Sunday with a lot more than I came in with, spiritually. If you haven't already heard of these beautiful 'fearless influencers'(that's what they call themselves) cropping up in Nairobi ask yourself, in which cave have you been living in?

No kidding, the first time Mavuno came around, I was skeptical. Everyone in my neighborhood was skeptical (proud to say here that Mavuno is in my hood). At first we didn't even know it was a church. I don't remember how I began going there but now missing a sermon is something I can't bear to do! Ever my mother got into the mix! She was a sort of a critic. All my family goes there.. except for Dad but he never goes to any church. Perhaps we'll have to make him work on that.

Okay, now down to what they do down at Mavuno they are very friendly and sooo welcoming right from when you arrive at the dome. This is what I most like about Mavuno, the fact that, contrary to a misguided belief, it is for everyone!!! Not a group of people of a certain social class, or a certain age group... anyone would feel at home at Mavuno. The sermons; Pastor M and pastor Simon are doing a tremendous job. They will make God seem closer than we always try to put Him. They will make you see how God is relevant in your life. For most us tend to think, even subconsciously, that God was for Abram and Moses and that He wouldn't understand what we are going through because times have changed. I know God has blessed me a lot, before Mavuno I wasn't a church goer. My excuse was that church was far. Now its right at my doorstep, and its so amazing and no one can convince that God didn't have me in mind when he was showing these great people where to set camp.

Good people of Nairobi, come to Mavuno and let's change this city and the world together!

Disclaimer: As you can tell this piece was written when the writer was extremely ecstatic, just overlook the craziness and join him at Mavuno this Sunday!

BAGS OF MEAT.

2009-10-25T08:05:00.000-07:00

Ever since that dreadful day,
A day won’t pass before the thought crossed my head,
I probably think more of it than I think of sex,
We all are nothing but just bags of meat,
That’s why the mind may want but the body is weak,
Bite yourself to feel it you’ll see,
I don’t un
derstand,

He was perfectly fine- just that he couldn’t breathe,
Tiny holes on his back and his head led him to sleep,
It’s not us in this form,
We could have been anything but we are who we are,
It never used to bother me, it’s weird now it does,
I just pray for that day when evil should reside not with us,
They crept up on my friend,
Trailed him in the dark,
Set up an attack,
Pierced through his heart,
Took nothing he got,

Sometimes I wonder how it feels,
To take a life that God Himself gave,
That God Himself made,
That God Himself saved,
That God so loved,
That His only son died for,
We’re just bags of meat,
We’re just pieces of flesh,
In this form as we know it,
In this form we are nothing!
In the soul we are something.

HOW SAFARICOM ALMOST CONNED ME.

2009-10-25T01:30:00.000-07:00

Safaricom is currently running an offer where you can receive unlimited internet access for 24 hours at Ksh 200. You top up your card with the amount and send a blank text to 555. After a moment you will receive a confirmation text message that goes; “You unlimited daily internet access request has been received. Ensure you disconnect and reconnect to start enjoying the service in 10 minutes.” I did send a blank text, this is the message I had received, I followed the instructions in it.

I was skeptical about this offer and more so now. To begin with, the offer was and is not good enough to me because I believe it can be cheaper but that’s another story. And the fact that the offer lasts for less than a month is just pathetic, I’m not sure when it began but I know it ends on the 5th of November. As to why I ended up taking the offer I don’t know but I most regret it. I think I was driven by euphoria seeing everyone activating their accounts for the service.

Usually I use my phone as a modem, not as fast as the Safaricom modem but it works just fine for me. I called Safaricom customer care to ask if I could still use my phone as a modem and still take advantage of their offer, the man on the other end said Safaricom does not mind what device I use, all they look at is my account. That made sense to me. There is no single day have I heard Safaricom or any other cell phone company restrict any of their products to, say, customers with Nokia handsets only. So I thought, I have plenty of downloading to do, maybe Ksh 200 shillings is worth it after all. That is when I did what I had to do, topped up and sent the text.

10 minutes later, I was on the internet with my phone modem. Ha-ha. I was down to do some major downloading! But they must have known or something. Safaricom hates me, I realized I was still being charged. I called Safaricom customer care (I called there so many times last night, they don’t even ask me my name anymore when I call. Sometimes they hang up on me while they kept me on hold!). I was instructed to switch off my phone and back on, then I would be good to go. I did that. Nothing happened. Okay something happened, I couldn’t log on to the internet even through my mobile phone browser, instead I got a message: Authorization failed. It stayed this way for 5 hours during which I could not get through to customer care, you know, number busy. And when I tried to sambaza the little credit I had in my account, it jammed! Like they really wanted the 41 bob I had remaining.

After the 5 hours, it goes through, customer care. They tell me- switch off your phone then switch it back on. I did that again, reluctantly. Walaa, internet was back... but they were still charging me. Customer care again, they say- we are looking to see what’s wrong and we will get back to you in 48 hours (Yes, they said they would get back to me. I asked again to make sure I heard right, will you actually call me? She began her sentence with “ If we don’t then just…”). 48 hours?! I had less than 20 hours to enjoy the unlimited internet access! I should have been mad with these people, I was but I tried as much as I could to keep my cool. They didn’t even know what was wrong themselves, they are just employees who pick up calls. They should be trained better, because when I called again later, I was told I could not get unlimited internet access because I was using my phone as a modem and I that I should use the Safaricom modem. Nice. I asked her if the first guy had lied to me and she said- we are sorry but that was a miscommunication. “What about my money?”
She blubbered something but she didn’t know the answer to that neither. These people don’t even understand the products of the company they are working for!

So now I’m sitting here mad as f*@#! Wishing Safaricom headquarters would burn to ashes! But don’t worry Michael Joseph, I’m still holding on to my Safaricom SIM card, but who knows for how long. One thing is for sure though, I’m never buying a Safaricom modem.

Note: He-he, just as I am completing to write this I get a message from Safaricom saying "Your unlimited daily internet access request has been successfully processed. Ensure you disconnect and reconnect to start enjoying the service." They must really know! I decided to not withdraw from posting this for what they made me go through. But I have conveiniently added the word "almost" in the title of this post. Now, let me test to see if it is true what they are saying.

WHY DO WE NEED SEACOM ANYWAY?

2009-10-23T06:51:00.000-07:00

It usually gets very tricky when it comes to technology here in Africa because most of the technology (if not all) that comes our way we but adopt, we do not develop. Therefore most of it was not designed to solve our problems as they are. What we do is try to take a piece of technology and try to make it relevant to us by trying to figure out how the technology that we receive can best suit us instead of analyzing a problem and developing a technology that is best suited to solve our African problems. Lucky enough, some problems we share with the West. And some problems in the West are not problems to us until the West solves it, then do we realize that things can be better. That’s how the internet, let alone fiber-optic is to us. We didn’t and still don’t comprehend to what extent this beautiful technology can be useful to our economic growth. We get to learn of its limits by watching the West use it but funny thing is that the limits keep shifting so rapidly it’s so confusing!

Moses Kemibaro wrote an article on his blog a while ago called ‘Now That SEACOM Is Live, what next?’ Read it here, it’s a nice piece. This question is very legitimate especially to us Africans in this region because this technology is coming to us relatively late. A huge proportion of us who could even get internet access either didn’t understand or didn’t know what to do with the internet as it were before SEACOM went live… that is if social networks and e-mails were removed from the picture. Now that it is live and its objective was to make the internet cheaper and faster and provide more bandwidth, which we might have not needed that much because we’d made ourselves comfortable with every aspect of the earlier connectivity except for the high prices, what next?! Mr. Kemibaro goes ahead to say in his article; The challenge for the [internet] market in Kenya will be to find useful and value adding applications of this overflowing bandwidth and make sense of the high speed cables. Right on point! And this value I presume, is monetary. It is all about economic growth and poverty alleviation when it comes to technology, otherwise what good is it? After all Governments and other organizations put in a lot of money to lay this magical cable under the sea all the way from South Africa, this goes to show that this cable must be of great importance to them. When the big guns put their money on something, they expect returns. So SEACOM must be big business. Question is; where will the money come from? But I digress.

Let’s focus on the benefits of wireless broadband, which is what SEACOM and other cable systems like EASSy are offering us. The most conspicuous or vocalized benefit is that of bandwidth pricing, it was even predicted that the prices would go down by 95%. Now that percentage is huge, I’d probably end up buying something I don’t need for 95% less its original price. Not by any means am I trying to insinuate that SEACOM is a bad thing, it is amazing! What bothers me is the fact that we didn’t even do much with the little we had in the first place. The internet is a powerful tool and I’m starting to doubt if as a country we will be able to handle its effects on our lifestyles and how we do things. In addition to cheaper bandwidth and faster internet consumers will also enjoy media-rich applications such as audio and video. This is quite something. Other benefits would include the opening of doors to global competition, cheaper telecoms costs would have positive effects on the economy and infrastructure and most of all promotion of innovation and stimulation development.

Sometimes I feel like Africa is being forced to walk the economic road at a faster pace than it can handle with these many technological advances. And we have no choice, we have to work hard just to embrace new technology. As much as the arrival of SEACOM created a lot of excitement in Africa (where most of the population still don’t have access to the internet), in the end it is going to be upon us to make it work for us. This is where we need to be creative and beat even the creators of the technology. We Africans do not have an excuse, we are probably the region which needs the internet the most. Whether or not we are going to use for pure entertainment and social networks is upon us.

IN CASE OF A ROAD ACCIDENT.

2009-10-13T10:10:00.000-07:00

Most of the time, I just mind my business. While I was doing just that in the company of a friend of mine, we suddenly heard a loud crash sound from across the road. What could that have been? My friend wondered. I don't care, I thought to myself as I hoped he would drop the subject. Something must have happened, we saw a large truck slow down right before the crashing sound. I succeeded at drifting his attention to our business but then noises from the tarmac road which we could not clearly see from where we were captured my friend's attention again and so he insisted we go check it out. Alright, he won. Let's go see what's up. So we went.

Alas, he was right too, it was an accident (He'd thought it was). Two grown men laid on the ground bleeding profusely with broken limbs. It was a gruesome scene and my mood was immediately changed. One of the men was a bodaboda guy (cyclist) and the other one must have been the passenger. The passenger man was the one with broken limbs, agonized by pain but trying to hide it in his facial expression. the bodaboda man on the other hand was bleeding from the back of his head, he must have had a concussion. The bicycle was scrap metal.

Now, I stood there and I wanted to leave. Not because I can't stand the sight of blood but because I couldn't stomach the fact that everyone else was just staring and doing nothing! It was like a freaking show. I was just hoping for someone to do something, I guess that's what everyone else was thinking. But nobody did anything except watch this short version of a reality show.

It was then I started to ask myself, what can I do to help these people... call the cops? No, 999 doesn't work. The paramedics, do we even have those in Kenya? The ambulance? Well, even if I wanted to call I didn't have any hot line number and I still don't. So who is to blame, me and my ignorance or the system? That is why I did not want to be among that crowd who just hovered around and asked stupid questions like 'what happened?'. If I stuck around I'd just be like them. Typically Kenyan, idle enough to not pass another chance to be idle! What is wrong with us, huh? to make things worse, a police (or maybe it was the army, AP... I can't tell the difference) truck passed by and that is all they did- passed by. I felt like vomiting, I can't do any first aid, all I was thinking was shouldn't anyone be doing something fast?!

The story has a happy ending though, I said a little prayer and I think God heard me because a personal pick-up vehicle stopped to offer to carry the accident victims to the hospital. Now that made me feel good. There were still human beings left among us, even if I am not among them. Because I don't know how I would have felt leaving a couple of injured people by the roadside and get back to my own 'business', after seeing how much pain they were going through.

Everyone else is not prepared for such emergencies, next time I want to know what to do. So if you have any suggestions or you have police or emergency numbers, hit me.

Also, is it morally right to take pictures at such scenes?

ALLOW ME TO SAVE THE DAY.

2009-10-07T22:54:00.000-07:00

If people added a little more truth in what they said, life would be a lot easier! The truth is difficult to say... and ugly, but doesn't somebody just have to say it to save the day? Fuck my feelings, just because you can't handle it doesn't mean I can't handle the truth! I hate selfish, emotionally needy individuals. With that said I guess I might as well say that I hate everybody. With all these superficial women hovering around, my diplomatic nature doesn't really help.

Wyre told you ladies, make a choice! Make up your minds... but I guess you all like to be chased after. One thing I usually can't argue with when I'm trying to hit on a girl is when they say they have a man. What do you say to that? Ummm, 'I don't mind. I have a girl too'? Then you find out you like me too, but you didn't tell me soon enough that you had another guy somewhere. You just led me on until I got you cornered and then you spill out that gibberish! You knew what I wanted, I know you knew because I told you. Talking about you want us to be friends now, crap. You should get to know me better. And I can't believe it that you claim you were protecting me from a heartbreak all this time, then what do you call this?! But I'm a big boy, woman. I'm okay. As a matter of fact I'm fine! Shit, I'm doing great, look at me! I don't hate you, I love you, remember that. That's why I can't be your friend, not even because you are a filthy liar. I'm looking back at the first time we met, and I wish you never called.

Hey, I'm willing to carry the burden of being the hero and save the day, big responsibility. It's one of my shortcomings anyway, I can't fit in so its probably a good thing I use it to create better days for all of us, right? No, that dress doesn't fit, you're too fat! I know it looked good when your mother's cousin's daughter wore it but that's because she's a teenager... and she has a nice figure. And your teeth are crooked, ever heard of braces? Pretty cool invention. You need a little teeth whitening too. But it shouldn't worry you much, those are things we can fix. How am I doing so far, is the day any better? Call me Captain Save-'em. You need me just holler my name!

WHEN THE MOMENT ARISES.

2009-08-25T12:11:00.000-07:00

According to Newton’s first law of motion, a body persists its state of rest or uniform motion unless it is acted upon by an external force. This external force, depending on its magnitude and direction, may bring the moving body to rest, accelerate its speed, slow it down or change its direction. If the body was initially at rest, the external force will cause it to move. In short, there has to be some force applied to change the initial state of a body in terms of motion. Applying the same law in every day life, nothing changes until you do something. In other words, if change is desired something has to be done! The question then becomes; what has to be done?

During the post election violence, people picked up their weapons because they felt they had to do something. They felt they’d been violated and they had to do something back. And some of us watched and said yes! Somebody has to make them pay. Someone needs to make them know that it’s not all that good. What else was there to do? Sit back and watch the news? Grumble inside your house? It was an emotional moment. But killing is not accepted, surely not even on self defense. God is not fallible and neither are his laws. God said do not kill and it stopped there, there were no exceptions. Those who know me know I wonder, does there have to be war before there is peace? Is it okay to do evil just so good may prevail? Does someone have to lie so that the truth may come out?

So again what is it that should be done when such moments arise? Young men and women are out protesting, you are safe inside your house. You support them but you are not out there with them. Your people end up dying, you know they died for you. But they are laughed at and you can’t help but think, why didn’t they just stay at home? Nobody asked them to go out there but somebody had to go. Mau Mau people are considered heroes, they fought and died for freedom. We like to think they died for us. Someone has to let them know that it’s not all that good down here. But how can that be done without risking lives? Even the Mau Mau couldn’t do that. Ostensibly, only the poor get so concerned.

Something still has to be done but we are still here seated watching them play us like it’s a movie. Watching the news, getting our moods swung and probably write about it but we are still static. Hopefully there won’t be a too big a price to pay for freedom/democracy this time, less than the loss of any life or bloodshed. But if there is any volunteer willing to die for the cause, let him show himself. God bless us all.

THE RECYCLE

2009-08-23T15:34:00.000-07:00

Is this a curse or a blessing? The fact that wherever you turn here in Kenya you see the same people in their respective lines of work, pick a profession, any profession.. we can begin with the obvious- politics. We all know how it goes, the same people getting recycled back to office and we wonder how. Well, I have news. If anyone thought that Kenya was a democracy then he was broadly mistaken, we have in place an oligarchy as a form of government. According to wikipedia an oligarchy is a form of government in which power effectively rests with a small elite segment of society distinguished by royal, wealth, intellectual, family, military or religious hegemony. Now if this does not describe Kenya then I do not know. Ours is an elected oligarchy.

Turn on the your TV, a new station came up and guess who you see? You got it, the same faces you are used to still reading you the news. A new radio station, the same players reshuffling every now and then changing stations. I bet there are certain media personalities who have not a single media house they haven’t worked for. That show can you dance? the Kenyan version, it came and went, right? Now we have Tusker Project Fame III, guess again whom I saw, the same choreographer that was on can you dance? still a choreographer on this show- Edu!

Take big businesses in Nairobi, if you don’t see the same person you see another him. Born in Kenya, educated abroad, worked abroad for a while then decided to come back because they love Kenya. Started their own thing and now they run a successful business. Overly educated too, intelligent, tend to think you are stupid until you prove yourself otherwise.

I appreciate it when someone is good at what they do. If opportunities keep landing on their laps because of their skills, that is a good thing, isn’t it? But is that why they get the opportunities or is it that there is not tough competition. If the latter is true, that means that there is a shortage of professionals in Kenya. There is a shortage of people with technical know-how in any field so the same people get the opportunities. In plane words, most of the population is stupid. It bothers me when I see the same people because it sends a message, it won’t be easy to get in because they won’t let you. That ‘same’ person is already there, so unless you become him, forget it. And even if you become him you have to wait until he finishes his turn. But when you make it in, you’re IN. That’s the message.

INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBLITY

2009-08-23T03:16:00.000-07:00

Until we as a people understand the ills of corruption, we are never going to be disentangled from it. Until we learn and permeate the culture of owning up our individual responsibility to the next generation or even the next person standing by us, we won’t stagnate economically but we will fall far back. Now this is not news it has already happened and the past can act as an empirical proof. What is most saddening is that we keep repeating the same mistakes and nobody cares because nobody wants to take responsibility. It is always somebody else’s fault.

Enough analysis have already been made by experts, clearly outlining our problems and mistakes in an articulate way. Comparisons have been made between our economy and other economies which were of the same level as ours some thirty to forty years ago. Sometimes one can’t help but get ‘wowed’ by our failures. Well, this article is not about what we are doing wrong, it’s about a fresh start. It’s about getting the hell up, dusting our shoulders off and getting our walk on! It’s a process, a realistically executable one. The views expressed here may not be in synchrony with the laws of political science but here they follow in no particular order, nonetheless;

1. In The Head

This is where it all begins, in our heads. Every individual has a role to play. Even if we had angels in the government (where most of us erratically think it’s where it starts, understandably though), they wouldn’t do much good if the people didn’t want to be led by them or were simply not corporative. We need to support and respect those whom we chose to lead us, after all God put them there. The condemnation and the negative talk won’t help, let’s accept what we have in our hands and work with it! Let us all foresee prosperity and success before it is here. Let us not say ‘Kenya will never develop’ because every time someone else utters those words the realer it becomes. Let us think positive and see the good.

Don’t you know, that it’s not always that we are doing something wrong? Sometimes we fail not only because we don’t have faith but because we spray too much negative criticism on a good thing even before it is put in place such that it doesn’t do us the good it was intended by the few men and women of faith and goodwill, or didn’t you think they exist?

If you are not proud to be Kenyan, at least don’t be ashamed of being Kenyan. A man said of Kenyan products; I will not buy Kenyan products just to prove I’m proudly Kenyan, give me quality and I will buy. I believe that is how true pride is achieved.

2. Call Upon God, Not The Government!

Those who watch the news are all too familiar with the rather sickening phrase ‘serikali iingilie kati’ which is now a cliché. That has to stop because if it brought us any solution it was short-term and we were stretching out our arms again, begging. Just like they (gov.) do to donors when they run out of funds in their budget.

It is not necessarily evil or detrimental to our progress if we called upon the government, but much more of our needs would be met if we called upon God just as much. Why call upon the ‘legion of thugs’ anyway when you can go straight to the source?

This point kind of inclines to religion, and not so long ago when priests and pastors were tossing themselves into politics every major TV station asked people to send their opinions whether or not religion and politics can mix. It’s hard to tell about the ‘can’ part, but what is for sure is that it should. I sure as hell want to know that my president prays. If we put God first, we wouldn’t have anywhere to go but up.

3. Hard Work/ Giving Back

There is no doubt that Kenya is a working nation, but why then is our hard work not reflected on our national growth? I may not know much but I think it’s the lack of a common goal. Most of us are at the point where we’d do anything for money, just to get by. So other people work to survive. Some people do what they do over other things because of the huge amount of returns.. (have nothing against that as long as it is legal).

Whatever the reason for working, we tend to miss the bigger picture- our contribution to the wider community through our work. Does our work change lives, does it make life easier or bearable to someone else? (Selling drugs to an addict doesn’t count). It doesn’t have to be something big. The point is, we may be working hard but some of us are working hard in the wrong direction because we always put ourselves first. The target should be a better future for the unborn children, our grandchildren. Our ancestors might have failed to prepare a good present for us but it doesn’t mean that we too should fail the generation that is going to come after us.

Yes, we should think of our immediate families first but in the end we should think of everyone. For this reason I suggest we do more volunteer work when we get the time off our busy schedule in addition to just dishing out money. Visit children’s homes or help clean the environment. Do physical work that will benefit the community, that is giving back.

4. Education

Our education system should change. This is a tough one because this system is all we know. Our teachers went through the same system, its all they know. That we read, we pass, we get a job- period. We don’t even need to think. Alternatively, we don’t read, we don’t pass, joblessness.

Poverty is by no means an excuse for poor quality of education. With a pencil, a paper and a good trainer one can still get quality education. Other things like computers, desks, a classroom etc just facilitate the process. Its like money and love. Love feels better if you have money but you can still have love without money. You tell me where Newton and Socrates got their education. (I understand though, that times have changed and that even Newton and Socrates would find it hard to cope in today’s world but you get my point)

This means we need an educated lot. We need men and women of integrity. Since education is one of government’s responsibility, they can do much to improve on the quality.

5. Family/ Morals

The basic unit of a community, that is what a family is. The family plays a very crucial role in developing us as responsible human beings as we grow up. Not enough attention is given to our young ones when they grow up so they get confused. They grow up thinking one thing is right until they find out its not when its too late.

We need to pay attention to what our children are thinking when they are still young and correct their misconceptions while its still possible. Children listen to what we say and emulate, when you watch the news and haul insults at a politician you don’t like, he’ll grow up thinking MP’s are stupid, a certain tribe are to be avoided and so on. We don’t want that.

We need to protect the innocent minds of our offspring from the cruel world we live in until they are ready for it. They need constant checking up, find out what they’ve learned, how they spent the day. The future might just depend on these minds. It’s a hard job, parenting. And it was meant to be done by parents, not by schools or the media.

ENGINEER WANTED; I'M BUILDING MY OWN WORLD!

2009-08-20T17:22:00.000-07:00

In the Greek language, there are three (actually four, it depends) words for love; eros which means passionate love with sensual desire and longing, Agapē which refers to general affection rather than the attraction suggested by eros and Philia which refers to a dispassionate virtuous love. It requires virtue equality and familiarity. I find it interesting that the Greek created these many words for love but I find it convenient, and so did Martin L. King Jnr. I have come to think that all the many great men and women who came before us were not any different from us, they too were human. Because even Mr. King who preached pacifism stopped to question himself, why should I love him who oppresses me and my people? What do you when he smacks you in the face for no reason? Yes even Mr. King questioned himself sometimes so we are not that much different, but at the end of the day there is something that makes us different… that makes me different. And that is Love. Mr. Martin explained that he couldn’t possibly love his oppressors, he just couldn’t. But he loved them by virtue of them being human. He loved them because God loved them too just as much as He loved him. He loved them because he was not as superficial as they were so as to just see the colour of their skin, but he saw them as brothers and sisters in the family of mankind.

I want that. I want to love, in all aspects of the word. I want to be loved. I want to create a world of my own where people share everything they have. I want a world of my own creation where everyone cares and people forgive. The Lord knows that I do try… I really try, just maybe not hard enough. I want to do good to people without expecting nothing in return. I want to wash people’s feet, I want to serve! I want to learn the secrets of life, learn about spirituality and gain all the wisdom I could get. I want to understand. I want faith. But most of all, I want God.

Isn’t that the meaning of life? We spend too much time just trying to get by, all for what? If you can love and find love in this life, then you are successful! Yes we need to work to put food on the table and even more but if only we understood what love can do… Malcolm X said (I’m ashamed to have to quote foreigners); Africans didn’t get their freedom by singing ‘we shall overcome’, they fought for it! Frankly I don’t know what to say to that, but I think that the real man is he who can still be able to love his enemies regardless of how much wrong they do him. It’s so easy to be angry, the task comes in containing it. What I’m saying is realistic, just in the same way poverty can be eliminated and tribalism can end!

Perhaps I’m dreaming. Well, I can’t waste my life hating. I’m creating my world within myself. And when I have kids I will share it with them. I will love them and I will teach them everything I know. Then I will tell them to spread it as far as they can. Then I will consider myself to have played my part. Because we cannot all be Martin Luther.

LIFE SKILLS.

2009-08-19T20:07:00.000-07:00

I read about the art of negotiation in the recent past and it created a notion in my head that to get what you want in life you just have to acquire the skills to play the game of life. The skill my people, is the art of negotiation. In reference to what I read, we all negotiate everyday. When you want someone to cover for you at work, when you have one too many drinks and can’t go home for some reason (maybe your wife is a python or you still live in your mother’s house) so you call a friend at 2am for a spot to sleep. Perhaps the latter situation is a little extreme in the sense that it doesn’t occur that often… well, for most people, but it is in such occasions that you need something a little extra to get what you need, that you might not necessarily deserve.

Just so that we are on the same page, I feel compelled to define the word ‘negotiate’, not according to the dictionary but in the context of which I’m using it. To ‘negotiate’ can fundamentally be defined as persuasion or convincing in order to gain that which you desire while having to give up the least. It is possible. This blog was not intended to give a lecture on the subject but I will say one thing, you have to understand the interests of the other person. Have a little something on them too, you get?

Anyway, so I tried to put into practice what I read in them stupid books. I went out to the world and I could see all the things I did wrong… unfortunately I couldn’t make them right, I’m just too critical to negotiate. Check this scenario; me and a friend walk up to the entrance of a club… wait, we weren’t going in to drink or party. We’d traveled together and arrived late (8pm) so while we were in town, he decided I had to see this place which he likes. I wasn’t so much interested but I went anyway. At the entrance I get frozen, apparently I look like a twelve year old with facial hair! It was ridiculous. I probably should but I don’t walk with my ID probably because I have never owned a wallet. I tried to ‘negotiate’ but what I ended up doing was trying to win the argument. I even engaged hypothetical talk; ‘what if I have a student ID?’ As we continued to argue, he lets another person enter without asking for his ID which makes matters worse. Long story short we were let in, my friend was the better negotiator for the day and he didn’t read any books. He bribed the bouncer with fifty shillings. I didn’t like that. I preferred to just walk away which I was already doing but my friend insisted. My point? I lost my point.

But I like the following conversation I heard in a movie.

Man 1 : How much do you charge?
Man 2 : 50,000
Man 1 : 50,000, are you kidding? Earlier you said 30,000.
Man 2 : Things have changed since then.
Man 1 : (Sighs) I’ll give you 40,000
Man 2 : Deal.
Man 2’s partner : Hey, you know what? We were bluffing, we would have taken 30,000
Man 1 : I was bluffing, I would have given you 50,000.

JUST WAVE.

2009-08-17T17:09:00.000-07:00

In Nairobi we take greetings for granted, I can give you that. The fact that I nodded at you today doesn’t necessarily oblige me to perform a gesture in form of a greeting on the following day or from that day onwards. Its just how we live, it doesn’t mean I have a grudge against you, it just means we missed eye contact. That means we move on! So pardon me.

Yes, I do nod… that’s a form of greeting. I mean, you can’t be too careful these days, a Latino President caught that virus! No, not HIV, that H1N1 flu virus. I read some tweet suggesting hugging but I don’t swing like that. I don’t like getting all touchy especially around my abdomen. Plus, I hate when someone rubs my back when we hug, thank you very much, I’m warm enough. Its like they want to make sure their ‘dirt’ sticks on you, uh-oh. I’d rather wave, or just holler your greetings. Hugging is over-rated, even strangers want to hold me!

The hardest people to handle when it comes to greetings are those people you are not used to, you are not friends, you don’t even talk with each other but circumstances put you both in the same place everyday and you have to say hi to each other... the awkwardness brewed up by the situation can be so overwhelming!

Maybe I just leaped out of stone age but do you remember the days when there were greetings for different age groups? Like you wouldn’t just approach your dad and say “what’s up?” Where did those days go? Forget it I think I know… to the dogs.

I’m saying this because I came back home from college one day and found new security guards (don’t call them watchmen, some of them really sensitive) at the gate. They are not familiar with me so I see them looking at me funny but I know that they are just doing their job, so as I approach I holler my greetings in case they have something to ask me.

“Habari yako?”, I mutter.

He still gazes at me. He sees that I’m sure where I’m going, then he replies;

“Poa, Poa!”

I was dumbstruck. I just walked by feeling like the Flintstones.
That day I learned a valuable lesson. These men are not that old, they are just grown.

On another occasion, I come home at night. It was dark and again I have this thought that it would make their work easier if I make my voice heard so they can identify me by it.

“Niaje?”, I say as I hurriedly pass through.

“Wewe ni nani?”

“Screamer”, I replied.

“Unaishi wapi?”

Right then I knew I’d used the wrong greeting. I had better chances of passing without all the scrutiny if only I had kept my mouth shut. What? If I say “Habari yako”- you are not that old and if I say “niaje”-I’m a suspect?
That is so unfair. I had to answer a dozen more questions like I was some sort of criminal before I walked into the estate. On that night I learned another valuable lesson; to just keep my mouth shut until I’m talked to!

I don’t know if this is relevant but on that night my jeans were sagging, I had a cap and I carried a backpack.

KEEP YOU EYES OFF MY MONITOR!

2009-06-08T06:32:00.001-07:00

I once watched on Tyra Bank's Show ( Yes, I watch Tyra, so what! But not so much for it to make me a sissy.) little boys and girls talking about cyber bullying, little kids took their own lives because someone they had never met kept telling them awful things like how ugly they looked or how stupid they are over the internet. Well, that's very sad- that they had to kill themselves, but the 'bullies' were right on that part about them kids being stupid!

Anyway, anyway... I wasn't going to write anything until when I was seated before this computer and this idiot passed by and tried to peep on the monitor so I quickly minimized everything, then I suddenly had something stupid to write about- stupid people!

It occurred to me like a vision, walaaaah! Our lives are now split into two; real lives and cyber lives. The internet is now such a big part of our lives... it's not bad. And it's made privacy so hard to achieve. I am not so good at keeping secrets. No, I'm not one of those who go on yapping uncontrollably and before I know it I said something I wasn't supposed to say, NO. Those kind of secrets I can keep. Or to be more accurate, it's the evidence of secrets I find hard to contain in obscurity. It's like spilling water and not wiping the floor hoping nobody will notice or that it will dry up before someone finds out there is water spilt. So to me the internet is the perfect place for me to keep the 'evidences' of my secrets without having to worry much, no one will find it there. At least no one I know.

So when this moron was peeping, trying to see what I'm upto on the internet I felt this overwhelming urge to punch him in the face. Look, didn't you get the hint when I minimized everything? The dude still hang around over my shoulder, gazing at the desktop! Well, damn him.

On other stories, yesterday was my birthday. 7th June was when the kid was born. I had the most people wish me a happy birthday ever since I can remember celebrating birthdays, thanks to facebook. And they said facebook was bad! I was glad. And I didn't do anything stupidly crazy like most people do on their birthdays, or just certain people whom I know. Anyone of you still want to wish me a... arrgh whatever! It's too late to say happy birthday but just go ahead and make me happier!

Disclaimer: The author is not responsible for any exergeration or wrong use of the word 'stupid' . The author is also not liable for any emotional distress that may arise from reading this blog post. Sensitive readers are warned not to read twice!

KENYAN YOUTH ARE SLACK!

2009-05-27T09:12:00.000-07:00

I was inspired by this article on mama's blog to write this one.

On a previous blog I wrote about how we kenyans talk too much and hold too many conferences but don't come out of them any better. It's because of lack of commitment actually. I'm not saying I'm any better, but at least I don't waste my energy... what I'm saving it for, I do not know. Truly, I tell you, some of my pals come to me and they say, Screamer tell us; what can we do to make money while we are still in college? And I try to think up a few things to conceal my cluelessness and uncertainity, so I suggest a couple of things... they are not impressed. They suggest a couple more but none of us think any of them would work. Then we sit up looking at each other like dummies and I feel bad. I feel bad because these boys want to do something but they can't figure out what! I exclude myself here, because I somehow don't have as much enthusiasm as they do. Not because I do not need money though.

Then I try to analyze the whole situation, who's fault is it? Are we not creative enough? Are dumb? In the end I blame the system in which we live in, and the society we grew up in. We don't like to read books of any kind, we don't really learn much in schools, we despise protocol, rules and regulations. We don't perceive education as worthwhile. We (for fairness sake, most of us) all like the same things; movies, booze, sex, music and partying! We like to lie to ourselves that everything is okay. Our dream is to loot public funds to make ourselves rich overnight, nobody cares! These are the ills of society we were brought up in. And the education system isn't helping in revoking these negative values.

I do not like to preach or to whine or go on and on about what is wrong. But this is how I feel. It will take much to change this attitude. We the youth could do a lot of good if we wanted. See, a career in music is not bad, but music is intangible. I believe that an economy is built by production of actual goods, and this requires skill. This skill is what is lacking.

The youth are slack, but again it may not be entirely our fault. Not to say that anybody owes us anything. But we are not the way we are because we are young, its partly because we were nurtured to be this way. So everyone may as well be guilty.

STUPID SCHOLARS!!

2009-05-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

This weekend was interesting. But I was annoyed... but not the way you think, you will understand.

A lecturer from Daystar University, who is also a student in some university in S.A pursuing a PhD. in economics, came to my campus to carry out a research along with a few helpers of his. He came to do this under his student status, he explained. The research was in form of a game, that was made to simulate certain conditions in real life and his aim was to observe people's behavior when dealing with money in relation to other factors as ethnicity and gender. Apparently, this is the millennium way of executing research as opposed the old way of just using questionnaires.

He came to us in need of 'guinea pigs' for his experiments and we provided him just that... I was one of those guinea pigs, but only because I heard that there was going to be cash rewards.. and they promised much! But they clarified that the amount of money you will pocket will depend on how well you play the game.

So they group us in threes and explain the rules;
There is going to be player1, player2 and player3. These players will not know each other for they will be selected at random and they will not see each other for they will be in different rooms. The only detail a player will get of the other two players is their surnames, surnames were required to make it easy for other players to know your tribe. Each player will be assigned a certain amount of cash, not necessarilly equal in amount. Player1 will be required to transfer cash to player2 (a range within which the amount should fall was specified), player1 decides which amount he will transfer, and in return player1 and player2 get profits from this transferred amount- player1 gets 2 times the transfered amount, player2 gets 2.5 times the transferred amount. Player3 is rather dormant, his is just to watch. But his amount decreases by the amount transferred by player1, if player2 accepts the transfer. But player3 can choose to punish both player1 and player2 for his losses which they caused him, but in doing so he will have to incur more losses. If player3 does not do anything, he basically remains better off.

I played player1, I wanted to eat off this guy of a lecturer as much as I could, this is easy money, I thought to myself. In that room I could already see me swallowing whole bottles of beer! So I was willing to bet, the money wasn't mine anyway. It wouldn't even hurt losing somebody else's money in a gambling game! So hell yes I was willing to take a risk (which really wasn't a risk) so I transferred an amount.

Then they give us questionnaires to fill in, I remember one question "why did you to transfer?" then the multiple choices were... I can't remember but I know I ticked on the one that said "To increase my profits"!

Then afterward these sons of bitches tell us that transferring an amount represented offering a bribe! And by accepting, player2 was also corrupt. And if player3 did not punish the two players, that he saw corruption taking place and did not do nothing. So these assholes tell me that I'm corrupt? I'm not corrupt, you tricked me! This game lacked a lot in trying to reveal how corrupt minds think.

I don't know, I just felt used and deceived when they tried to convince me that I am that which I resent the most and that I just don't know it. That it will show when the opportunity presents itself. He almost concluded that we are all corrupt in one way or another, which is true. Corruption is sinful. It is fundamentally a sin. It is very clear in the good book that we are all sinners, there is not one pure soul in the face of the earth. Then how will some of us end up in heaven? ...because some of us will.

Maybe I am corrupt, but not the way that you are. But I learned something. That corruption is a matter of trust and passion, passion for your country and countrymen and trust in the leadership. Things don't have to stay the same.

For the curious heads, yes we got paid... but just like you guessed, not as much as they professed. No, I did not spend the rest of the weekend drinking.

I GOT TAGGED!

2009-05-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

I want to thank all my readers, as few as they may be, especially you mama... for the the award and for giving me a reason to write in my blog again.

I got tagged! If you've never been tagged before, wait for your turn. I might just tag you (I am required to brag, pardon me if it sounds lame). Mama tagged me. This is my first time and it feels good. But again not so good... I'm supposed to reveal personal stuff. That's kinda tough.

Here it goes;

1. I have a way of disposing off my nails after I cut them, I eat them! I wouldn't bite them off straight from my fingers. I attend to them real nice and let them grow long enough, then I cut them in big chunks and arrange them on a table top somewhere. Then I pick them one by one and eat one at a time. It's like a ritual. And if one flies off as I cut it, I will have to pursue it. If I lose it, I feel awful. That may sound weird to you guys.

2. I hate small talk, probably because I may not be good at it. I'm a straight forward person, when I talk it's about what, where and when... and probably who. I hate gossip too. on the contrary I like deep conversation. I like to listen to people as they reveal their thoughts. But at times you can catch me blubber a bunch of dumb shit, when I'm in a good mood.

3. Unlike Mama, I'm not into cars at all. I don't know car names and I don't really have preferences.

4. I like beer (Well mama, if you are ever going to marry then I guess it wouldn't be me!). My good times are when I'm in a nice (and I mean nice) pub with nice music in the background and accompanied with a couple of friends and chics, talking... I don't know, real talk.. like discussing global warming.. haha.

5. I am relentless when it comes to things that challenge my intelligence, like crosswords... or math problems. This probably explains why I never get anywhere cause I spend too much time one thing and just won't let it go and wouldn't accept help until I'm really beaten!

6. I dread to make calls! I don't know what it is, but I find it easier to text and use other means to communicate. I'm too conscious about airtime credit. And if someone called me and I didn't know what to say to them, I hesitate to pick up.. even though THEY called. Add this to my inability to engage in small talk you can imagine how confused I become.

7. I sleep a lot, I think. I sleep very late and wake up late, I sleep about eight good hours during school days... meaning I miss various classes, and sleep even more in other days. But that's healthy, ain't it?

8. I can't mention seven names of fellas we went to school with in primary school.

9. I rarely go to church. Not to mean that I'm non-religious. I do pray, read the bible and all. Most of the times that I go, my mom dragged me.

10. I can become insensitive sometimes, cause I say things to people hoping to be funny and it turns out I'm mean. Chics are the common victims. Good thing is I realize and diffuse the whole thing.

11. What else can I say, ummmh... I like to be in clean environments but cleaning isn't one of those things I like to do.

12. I have never broken up with any girl, they all just fade away because I wouldn't call. At least not as frequently as girls would like. But that's just one reason I know, there may be more..

Attachments to the award.

1.You must brag about the award.

2.You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger.

3.You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.

4.Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog.

5.List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself.

Then pass it on with the instructions!

Well, most of the people I would have tagged are already tagged... by she who tagged me.

Fixated- Ey, come back to blogosphere!

Rafiki- Tell us who you are.

Robin- What's underneath the poet in you?

Shishi- I especially want to hear about you!

neemadivine- I'm going to start reading you blog more often.

Jeez, I can't think of two more who are not yet tagged. Maybe I'll add them later.

HEY PEOPLE.

2009-05-08T07:01:00.000-07:00

Yeah. I'm back.

I'M SICK OF TALKING!

2009-04-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

I really love my country Kenya but we rant too much! That's why when everyone's out making their opinions known I choose to keep mum, because talking can sap so much of your energy in vain. Some people mean well when they talk, they want something to happen to counter whatever it is they are talking against. I fight the urge to talk but I pay attention and try to weigh everything. I do have opinions, sometimes I just don't know how well to put them across. I need time, give me a second. But time's moving fast and sooner or later I'll become that old guy we all don't want to become.

Go through those social network things, check out the groups, check out the blogs, organisations of people with common interests are being formed and websites are being set up. Seminars are being held, tours and workshops are scheduled, Vijana tugutuke thing, G-jue concert, The Kenya we want and of all that... it's too much! I hear the youth preaching aginst the old men as if the problem lies in the age. Women fight for leadership positions with the men, the disabled claim they are undermined and Muslims against christians... and the ugliest one being tribe against tribe each shifting blame crying foul that they are short-changed.

I'm not against all the talk, really, it does help to some extent. It might inspire trigger one of us who is listening to rise up for the occasion in the midst of all these cowards! Funny thing is everone is talking about the same thing at the same time. Everyone is trying to explain what is wrong with our society and our institutions or whatever... the few who try to think what a long term solution would be, end up doing nothing about it because, they claim, they have no power to do anything about it. Then just shut up because you are not helping.

Myself, I want to do something, I will. That which I think I can do nothing about, I listen to what they say... then say something when I do something. Like what Mutahi Ngunyi says, it doesn't have to be something big. But big is relative.

SO WHAT IF I DON'T SAY IT?

2009-04-04T03:50:00.000-07:00

I invited Becky over to my place last week... and she CAME! All the way to from Kiambu just to come see me. I was so glad to see her after that long, about six months. She still looks beautiful. Okay, Becky is just a friend... or a little more than that but not that other thing. Notice that? I said thing. Wait, you'll understand.

I was telling Becky about these girls I've been having while she's been away, she keeps asking and she bugs when she starts, I don't like talking about it... with HER. And she noticed I never use the word 'love', even just in conversation. Like instead of saying 'fall in love' I say 'being in that situation' and stressing on the word 'like' when I actually mean 'love'. Yeah, I admit. I'm not so fond of the word. And then that she mentioned I noticed I rarely say those three magical words chics like to hear- 'I love you'. Becky condemned me for that, just because I don't say I love you. My explanation is; I'd rather not say it unless I mean it! Is that so wrong?

Not more than a week later after our conversation I decide to send Becky a text, I tell her I love her. She says I'm just playing, that I just want to see how she'll react! Upto that point, I just don't know. She said she loves me too, but I just don't know which love she was reffering to, I don't even know which one I was reffering to, you understand?

I spend too much time with the boys is what she claims, that they corrupting my mind. The love doctor was talking, telling me that the way to a woman's heart is when you do to her the things that you swear you wouldn't otherwise do, dropping the ego. I'm like okay. Don't get me wrong though it's not like I'm trying to be 'hard'. I know how to treat them ladies, I just won't lie to them, especially when it comes to LIKING them. Just be cool and we can have fun, alright? Don't start with all that talking, getting all mushy trying to re-enact a scene from your favourite soap opera!

Then there is the question of when to say it. After what, three days, weeks, months? Is there a standard time? Jeez, I might just go out and tell every female that I love them!

For real, I'm training my mouth to get used to the taste it gets after saying the word.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

2009-03-28T04:00:00.000-07:00

Right about now, everyone is talking about the K.U (Kenyatta University) mayhem, for lack of a better word. I just feel bad about the whole incident. I might say something when everyone is quiet about it.

The past week has been very aweful for me. My mind had been clogged by nothing but death thoughts... no matter how hard I tried to evade them thoughts, I even had death dreams... but that's a story for another day. But I think that I came out a better person, stronger. I can handle grief.

I went out to drink this weekend. I blacked-out! Now before you judge me, it was an accident. The fact that I K.O'd was an accident. Because I've like, passed out blatantly like that like, three times ever since I started drinking! That's got to be a record. I had my first sip when I was 16. I know that's young....

But I'm a responsible young man, I was the guy who talked sense into the heads of the 'gang' back in high school. Apparently, while in a group people stop thinking, what else can explain the K.U frenzy? I will explain it to you right now, people stop thinking when they are a group!

Oh, what I should explain is how my 'accident' happened. Nothing complex really, I was seated in a bar... I gulped a couple of glasses... and without a warning... I pass out! That's all I remember. I mean, I wasn't even past my 'gauge' yet. Now this is not something I'm proud of. I regret it, even thought of quiting the drink (still thinking). I did NOT enjoy my high that night. That was a waste... a waste of money... a waste of time... and a waste of energy. I felt this feeling of nothingness in me, it killed me. That sort of behavior is not for a person of my stature. I'm supposed to show these friends of mine the right way!

I doubted what happened, so I said to myself "I won't blame it on the A-a-a-a-alcohol, since it's been loyal to me, and I have treated it with respect, we've had this wonderful relationship with no strings attached, so I MUST'VE been DRUGED!" All my friends were against the idea, because we were together and everything I had was with me because they took care of me. So I dropped the idea. I'm left with nothing... except that- "It was an accident!"

Now that's my story. I don't mind airing my dirty laundry for you all to see, unless if you all do.

DEATH AND ITS EFFECTS

2009-03-26T07:16:00.000-07:00

I want to begin by saying that we hold the destiny of our future in our hands... until someone robs us of that promise when they take our lives. Arise from where they were lurking and ambush us. That's roughly what happened to a fellow student last night, I'm yet to find out the details.

Its funny when I start thinking about death, this time it was really scary. It's the news of Eric's death that got me to thinking, including how I received the news and the things about life and death that I 'discovered' (from a book I was reading) preceding this event. I had travelled back home so I wasn't in campus. I received a text that I read just once and couldn't get myself to read it again. It was short and to the point, there's got to be a universal layout for writing bad news cuz this text had a horror connotation to it. There is something about how it was formatted that instilled fear... grief... so I called, as if to confirm. Or maybe that's why I called. Hearing it was even harder, confirming it only made it more horrific. It was true.

First thing I thought was; life is short. I mean, I knew him! It was like a wake up call that one day I too am going to die and it doesn't have to be in old age cuz that could have been me. I can die even tomorrow... or now! I started thinking, how aweful it is when you come back home just to be told the person you talked to yesterday ain't breathing anymore... a person you knew and loved. But death is not a mystery, its part of life. You are born and you die, right? People die every day, we don't even notice until its our loved ones.

Just last week my roommate travelled all the way to Naivasha to attend a funeral service, his cousin had passed. He had been instructed not to miss by other living relative. The cousin was a she, a mother, a wife... basically advanced in life compared to us.. him. I listened how he explained to us what happened and why he had to travel the following day, so casually.

"My cousin passed."

That's it. And no one even asked what had happened! I did, after a long pause. To me, there was something amiss. I suddenly got scared. People die and they are forgoten.

When Eric died, the only thing that scared me is that I knew him. But when we hear in the news that two people died in a road accident. We think in our thoughts; those are not so many, what about the people who knew the two? Even one life is worth saving. At least let's recognize life's worth.

The Afterlife and what death means... all I know, I don't want to be scared of death, that's what I keep saying. That's what I want to achieve, I want to embrace death when it comes rather than fight it. I want my last thought to be- I lived a good life. But I want to die old due to natural causes.

ARE THE DAYS OF REVOLUTIONS OVER?

2009-03-19T01:10:00.000-07:00

What I think is this, that democracy is not good for us simply because we are not mature a nation to practice it effectively for our own good. This article is partly inspired by the events of last week when the PM backed up the students of the University of Nairobi in their bid to demonstrate against the killings of a human rights activists and one student of the UoN. Things went terribly wrong, the demonstration or the 'procession' as they would like to call it turned out to become a cake-looting spree, those who watched the news know what I'm saying. The student body apologized, formally. At some point they even claimed that those were not students from the University, the looters. Well, the grand question is this; can a peaceful demonstration with all positive intent behind it occur in this nation? Or should we just forget it because whenever we want to express ourselves in the streets thugs come along to take advantage and spoil everything? Before I used to think different and I was wrong, blaming the government for disrupting even the humbliest and most peaceful of demonstration, even those harmless ones carried out by a handful of idle Kenyans. I came to realize even those demonstrations are not harmless. The government wouldn't just take any chances because they have accepted the idea that there is no such thing as a peaceful demonstration in this country as true.

But then do we really need to demonstrate anyway, is it the best way we can make ourselves heard in this 21st century, doesn't hitting the streets, yelling and looting sound barbaric? Revolutions came from the result of civil wars and unrest, where citizens said enough is enough and defied authority and brought down that same authority and tore it into pieces. Would that still apply in this day and age, with all the technological advances and all the lessons learnt from the past? We don't need to have the same solutions for yesterday's problems, we need better solutions.

Mutahi Ngunyi, on his Sunday article said that this was good, for the students to demonstrate. That it would go far to make the youth (esp those in the university) realize that their 'legs' are not tied and that they can push for whatever it is that they desire for this country, that they can have influence on the executive, or something.... Mr. Ngunyi keeps talking about that we have to go through some pain and hardship for us as a nation to have a rebirth. From what I understood he implied that there has to be a war or bloodshed for peace to rest undisturbed omongst us. I totally disagree. I say the days of revoltions are over! Fights for freedoms are done, what's remained is the struggle.

IF THEY DO AND YOU WOULD THEN SSSHHHH!

2009-03-11T07:37:00.000-07:00

When you see something wrong happen so very often, you might forget how wrong it is and sometimes it may become right before your eyes. There are so many examples, but in this case I mean the demons haunting our high offices of power and indeed ourselves; corruption, tribalism and hatred. These words are almost cliches in the society we live in, we forget what they mean until we finally see the true definition unfold before us when it happens. Then we pause to think if that is what we really meant when we uttered the word. And we get shocked.

I regret that people had to die because of an election fraud. It's a touchy subject and people don't want to hear that story anymore, let alone talk about it. When the 'war' began and people were shedding blood, some of us said; let them die! But when they saw the the pictures on TV of helpless human beings being hacked in pieces, some of them paused. I'm glad for those who paused to re-think if it's the same thing they meant when they said; let them die! But they are still not much different from the killers, I think. Also I think all those killings could have been avoided by the same people who instigated them. And they are not many.

There is no excuse for corruption whatsoever. The same way I would not excuse an individual for robbery considering that he is poor. Yes, we are humans and have desires and fall into temptations. But we are humans and have a conscience so when do something we should be ready to embrace the consequences and responsibilities that come along with that act, wholly.

I ask people this- and I always get the same answer- if you had a chance of 'looting' a significant amount of public money, and you were sure of impunity because your boss who is your employer is also in it, if you had that one chance to steal and get rich fast, would you take that chance? Apparently the answer is obvious to many- YES. So why are you mad at your leader again? It is exactly what he is doing, he is just being mjanja (as most of my specimens put it). If you would, just ssshhhh and wait for your turn to loot! If it doesn't come, too bad. But it doesn't come, you get yourself to it.

It is tricky, when we do corrupt deals among ourselves, we don't see it as corruption. We are just scratching each other's backs. And we brag about it. Around campus, corruption is the in-thing. If you did it and didn't proclaim it, that's a waste of a good source of fame and pride and the sense of being mjanja.

All I'm saying to you my good people, change should come within ourselves. The next time you condemn those MP's, ask yourself, are you any different? The next time you ask for new representatives in the August house, ask yourself, will they be any different? The next time you ask for change, ask yourself this, where will it come from? Because in a small or big way you might find yourself alone as the midwife, to deliver the new change. Ask yourself, can your people rely on you to deliver them the change?

Tribalism. Another ghost, we just play with it. You don't know how ugly it is until you face it. And it so real!

THE DILEMMA FACING DUDES.

2009-03-03T08:59:00.000-08:00

This has happened to me so many times now it pisses me off. It's not fair, but it's part of the game and I have to play it. We call it keeping it real.

I see these chics I'm not interested in and thank goodness I can always tell from a mile away where a conversation is headed. My buddy likes the flirting and teasing, I pull away but its me they want so they call for me.

I hesitate.

"What's wrong, don't be a wimp!"

My friend whispers in my ear; these ladies here might think you scared, you don't want them to think you can't handle them. I remember very well that I told him to leave them alone! In my mind I know I can't bear to be seen in their company. I had to play along, I always play along, what am I supposed to do? They were coming on me too strong! C'mon, show us what you got, their body language screamed. And they talked nasty, her friend, I mean one of them girls really talked dirty. She was like a filthy cheer leader egging me on to get jiggy with it.. saying things like we looked good together.

We kissed... and touched. Thank God she did not push me to go all the way. Perhaps she wanted me to love her, maybe she wanted me to plead and really want it. Well, I didn't want it. After the kiss I swear I wanted to spew, I ran to my room and brushed my MOUTH clean! Ironically, she a good kisser.

An overnight entertainment function in the campus, she books me. "Don't go missing now", she warns. I met her, we hang around a little and I lose her. I had someone else in mind whom I ended up having a good time with through the night. Me went mteja, had to switch back on because I had the room keys, just incase my roomies needed them.

Long story short, we ain't talking now. A beef builded up. I don't claim to be a heartthrob, but she thinks I think so. She think I feel so sweet, but its not that. Its simple, I just don't want her! It's college, we don't say no to chics, we use and dump them. But not me, I just can't. I love myself too much.

I hate that its come this, beef. I hate hating. I hate grudges. We can talk, can't we? I'm sorry I made you cry (I hear she did), I didn't mean to run away like that. Maybe I'm a wimp.

THE BEST BLOGS ARE WRITTEN BY THE DULLEST HUMAN BEINGS

2009-03-02T05:35:00.000-08:00

Ya'll probably want to lash out at me already. All of you, because I think I'm the only one who thinks his own blog is sucks and... I don't know, something's just missing. That means that you think that your blog rocks, well guess what, that means you are dull as a mtfka! But do not take me serious, on this post my thoughts are allowed to go out of control and I may get out of topic once and again. Its the the only place I can just let it all pour out without worrying about repercussions and making sense. To ye people of a lower level of understanding, this might be a challenge to you.

As I was saying, my blog is shit but I'm proud of it. But just don't compare my pride to that of gay people; I'm gay and proud, now that's bullshit! I forgot, I'm not suppposed to... Oh, this is one of them posts where I don't care. So, my blog being shit just means I have better things to do with my time. I marvel at what you write, so much creativity and beautiful templates... as a matter of fact I need a new template! I hate my current one, the problem is I don't know how to apply one to my blog. There are those which you supposed to copy/paste the codes, I can do that. But those templates aren't shit. The ones you download, those are the shit sadly I can't get them to apply to my blog. And what's this shit about blogger always asking me to use a google account, I DON'T want to!

Do not get it twisted though, just to set the record straight I don't talk this way in real life (unless if I'm drunk.... or if I'm here, apparently) but I wish I could.

You know, I'm twisted. Sometimes I think I sound like two people in this blog, I talk about politics like someone who really cares (which I do) then I come and write a piece like this. Sometimes in this blog, I think I sound like a spoiled college kid who loves too much fun. Oh, well...

Enough said about my tender feelings about my blog. I hope I don't sound like I'm whining because I hate people who do.

I am never satisfied, I want more! .....out of everything. I'm just not sure if I have the balls to push myself to the limits.

Do you?

THE BBC BOOKLIST AND A MEANINGLESS YES/NO QUIZ

2009-02-27T03:58:00.000-08:00

There are these interesting blogs I've been following lately, and I got these two pieces that have come a long way. You can post on your blog too, with your own answers. On the quiz, you are supposed to strictly answer yes or no, but what are rules for, I broke it in some questions. Enjoy.

(1) The Yes/No

Have you...Kissed any one of your Facebook friends?
No.

Kissed someone you didn't like?
Yes

Ran a red light?
No.

Totalled your car/motorbike in an accident?
No. I don't own any of those. Been in a mild accident though. By mild I mean not serious.

Been fired from a job?
No.

Sang karaoke?
No. But I do sing along to music alone in the living room.

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
Yes.

Sang in the shower?
Yes. Everyday.

Sat on a rooftop?
Yeah, cool.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
Nope

Broken a bone?
No.

Shaved your head?
I'm a guy.

Felt like killing someone?
Way back in my teen years, yeah.

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry?
No. I'm a nice guy.

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets?
I don't know what those are.

Been in a band?
No, but I wish I was.

Shot a gun?
No. One of the things I hope to do before I die.

Tripped on mushrooms?
What! NO.

Donated Blood?
No.

Eaten alligator meat?
No.

Eaten cheesecake?
Yes.

Still love someone you shouldn't?
No. But does anyone who shouldn't still love me?

Think about the future?
Sometimes. Yes.

Believe in love?
Yes.

(2) The Booklist

The BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. Although that also means you are an uncivilised git, you will be part of the masses. Less than 6, be ashamed. Read anything above 20 and you are a star.

Instructions:

Look at the list and mark those you have read.Red = Read it.Green = Read it, remember it.Blue = Own it, haven't read yet.Orange = Reading these days.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (only the first one though)
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Withering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno - Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

As you can see, I'm not so fond of books. But just these particular ones, thanks to the bible I made it to six.

I got the list and the yes/no quiz from this blog.

I DON'T LIKE THE MEDIA WHEN IT COMES TO NEWS

2009-02-26T00:10:00.000-08:00

I was reading a book yesterday, I can't remember the title but it was about pacifism (before I say more, it's funny because in the preface it asked "...what if Saddam Hussein turns monstrous?" and I had to go back to the front page and check the year in which it was printed and published, 1994. I smiled, that ain't so way back. Also, who am I to say who is a monster nad who is not? But I smiled because I thought, human beings, we'll always face the same challenges.)

The only word I remember in the title of the book is non-violence. But the most interesting thing he said that I liked was that in the proffesion of journalism, which he is or was in, has individuals with world-class skill of telling it how the world is a mess but will never offer to be part of a solution either by proposing ideas or suggesting the way forward through a predicament. Now, I'm not a journalist but I know there are clauses somewhere that binds them to be neutral when it comes to such stuff.. I don't know, I didn't say it! another journalist did, I just concur.

You know when I don't like journalists? When they are all up in your face, flash lights, tiny recorders and all the noise from moving there lips like they are saying something, trying to ask something but you don't hear them. It's okay for those who like it, they can follow them. Here's an example; a wedding ceremony goes wrong and the bride runs off because another woman came to disrupt the whole thing with a baby in her arms claiming child support from the groom. Question is, how the hell do the the news cameras arrive at such scenes, a simple wedding in the hood? The groom and his people understandably trying to block the camera, but they just keep on, why!

"I'm just doing my job"- Their favourite line.

Well, go do your job at some other f***kin place! It's just sick, disgusting. I don't want to be embarrassed on behalf of anyone. Isn't there a law about invasion of privacy? Like when they caught that Cabinet Minister minding his business exiting a fancy hotel with a mistress, he did well wrestling that camera guy, but I'da killed him! Because that's snitching and unacceptable!

I hate the media for that. I HATE you! Passionately.

Lock up the snitches, only the snitches!

About the pacifism book, it was nice. Another interesting thing it said; there is nothing radical about thinking that the world can solve its problem without violence, that it was not radical to think that poverty can be eradicated and hunger taken care of. Think about that.

OBAMA READS COMIC BOOKS, HOW COOL!

2009-02-24T03:07:00.000-08:00

That's right, the American President has time for comic books and was very dissapointed at his cabinet when they failed to recognize his illusion of the comic series Savage Sword Of Conan!

According to the president,

"If my inner circle of advisers can't even communicate about the most basic issues, how are we going to tackle the massive problems our nation faces?"

He went ahead to say,

"When I tell my cabinet that getting bipartisan support is exactly like the time Conan got Taurus to help him steal Yara's jewel, they need to understand what I mean."

The Newest Gospel, Obama version.

Well, Mr. President, if i need to read Savage Sword Of Conan to understand my problems and how to solve them, who the hell am I to refute! I'm running to the stores right now to get my copy. Like you I'll become. And here I waste time reading a book titled The Principles Of Power Systems. Thanks for the hint, I hope other leaders will follow suit. Like Mugabe.

Read the whole story here.

THE 'FACT' I JUST WON'T ACCEPT!

2009-02-23T07:26:00.000-08:00

This thought has been lingering in my mind for a long time now, but the Hague issue just couldn't let it just rest in my head anymore. To cut to the chase, I don't think the Hague was a good idea, but my reasons are purely non-political but moral and inspired by the dignity that I do so much to protect.

Much has already been said but allow me to add my voice to it. I wasn't there but let me take you back in time during the colonial days. Not all black Africans were opposed to the whiteman's regime, some actually wanted them to stay. And they were accused as traitors and haters of their own. Some were put to death, killed in cold blood. Those men and women who wanted the whiteman to stay had predicted the demise of 'organised' society with the deperture of the whiteman. They said an African couldn't lead. They said atleast they ate while the white man came up with blue prints of new buildings and new agriculture techniques. They said their fellow Africans would be divided along tribal lines (which they already were before the whiteman was kicked out the country, and don't even blame the whiteman for that) and that they would be corrupt, the wise men of that time predicted it. Why are we proving them right today?

It's like those same people died and came back, I hear them screaming saying "let the whiteman judge our criminals!" because Africans, us, we are divided along tribal lines. We have corrupt leaders, it's not our fault they are corrupt! I say its not them its us. Many of us would rather see the whole government disbanded and in its place a group of white foreigners be put. Let the whiteman come govern us, they are just trying to help.

It is our problem, its root cause has to be tackled, we cannot dodge our responsiblities. I just can't and won't accept the fact that we can't. That we can never be able. I can't accept that the problems we are facing are bigger than us. If Africans are foolish, I'm NOT. I know, for a fact, that a significant portion of our population is ignorant, but not because of the fact that they are Africans. Big things have to be done. Let's clean up our institutions. Let's educate our people and make our system work for us and for the generations to come rather than rejoicing the downfall of one our own by sending them abroad for foreigners to punish them on our behalf. It's just not right.

I'M DYING!

2009-02-18T03:12:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to think what else I haven't done and CAN do 'cause these days you have to pay even for a good time, but I can't stop living... because I'm dying. So much to do in so little time. When I'm bored and have nothing to do and CAN'T invite my friends over because they are far I think to myself, time's passing. Time wasted. I can't have friends come over for sleep overs, I'm too old for that. I should have known. I should have known sooner how precious time is!

Has it ever occurred to you, when someone mentions a date, say, 1998... and someone says "yea, that's 10 years ago" and you think to yourself, "it's been that long?" That year when some coward terrorist bombed the American Embassy in Nairobi, that was ten years ago? Then it dawns on you that you are dying slow.

No, I'm not dying of a chronic disease, stupid. We are all dying... slowly. And we'll be forgotten, unless if you are B. Obama. When you find yourself with nothing to do, something fun or non-fun.. be afraid.

I do not want to live with fear, fear of dying. When it comes, I want to embrace it rather than fight it. I want to take my last breath thinking; I lived a good life.

I want to die living.

SORRY FOR NOT POSTING

2009-02-11T00:31:00.000-08:00

I jut want to apologize that this blog could not be updated as frequently as desired due to unavoidable circumstances. I'll continue to be off air for a little longer. Love you guys though.

SILENCE PLEASE, DO NOT WALK!

2009-01-29T01:31:00.000-08:00

It's like I couldn't be irritated enough by the now usual blaring sounds of funny ring tones in the library [don't even get me started, that's a story for another day] All women decided to come to the library wearing stilettos!You know the sound when they're moving around, swinging there hips, careful not to sink in the ground? Tik, tok, tik... like a clock on a wall.

Please fly by, don't walk, some other people's attention spans equal that of a 2year old. Stiletto-wearing in the library just made it to my list of heinous women behavior. And no, men don't behave badly, women do.

Now, before I get carried away and turn this into a women thing, and before they label me sexist or anything -ist, I just want to elucidate one thing here. I really do like it when they wear those high heeled shoes. They really do look nice in them too, [have you noticed I'm rhyming? Anyway.] but they don't have to make me look bad when I'm trying to peruse my books!

Why do women have issues when it comes to picking the right attire for the occasion or even the weather? Jeez, it's a clASS not a clUB, why do you arrive here naked? [Perhaps I should go slow on his one cuz my wish may just be granted.]

To some extent I don't make this observation filled with disgust but I rather see it as a wrong mode of conduct. It's like Tv, you don't need it when you want to engage in deep conversation with someone. You'd like both, but each at it's own time. So will someone please tell the honies to leave the shoes in their rightful places when they come to the library? Then we will catch up with them outside.

Ah, college life!

THE PERFECT SPOT, AND IT AIN'T BLOGSPOT.

2009-01-28T02:23:00.000-08:00

Ain't this something. Didn't this guy just choose the perfect spot to sit? I just like the "No Fee!" part.

GIMME TIME AND I'LL SAY SOMETHING PROFOUND!

2009-01-27T07:01:00.000-08:00

I am a thinker. I think too much though, but so far about nothing meaningful. I am one of those people who walk into a room and forget what I got into that room for. Or I may so excited and forget what the hell I'm excited for and spend a great deal of time trying to figure it out.

Hod up, I just thought of something... nope, it's nothing.

I can't work under pressure, damn, I'm not supposed to say that- I named my blog with my real name! How stupid. That's one thing I regret. I hope my potential employer is not reading this.

Anyway, what was I saying? Yeah, blogs. I started this blog about a couple of weeks ago. I'm so fresh at this, you can tell from my armature style. But give me time, time is what I beg of you.

So what do you think of my blog anyway, boring? I don't care. Actually I do. That's why I started reading articles on the web on how I can popularize my blog. Most of the tips were based on the content of the blog; break news, be unique, post regularly, mind your readers, write what they want... arrrgh! I don't have time for that, but i still make time for it. In high school I used to say; this is my life, f*** what the rest of the world thinks. Then I grew up and learned that the rest of the world is a part of my life. Without it, it wouldn't be life.

Like everyone else, I was tremendously inspired by the one Obama. [I promised myself that I would not mention him anywhere in this entire blog cuz enough has been said about him already but oh well...] There is just one problem. I can't speak like he does, I'd have to really sit down and ponder about what I want to say to choose the best words that would describe what I mean in an eloquent manner before I came up with something profound. And when I'm nervous I stutter. As I'm thinking so much goes through my head and my brain can't make up its own mind on which point to put across first and which words to choose. So I end up choking!

Unfortunately there is no time. I wish I could draw a picture of my thoughts and show it to everyone and you'll see it's brilliant. I have something amazing going on and all I have at my disposal is words to prove it? And they won't let me in until I prove it.Then give me time.

Even my teacher knew it, he was like "don't scare that boy or you might wade off off any potentially good ideas he might be thinking"

For my blog, I don't know what to say. I just be me. And you'll see I'm both stupid and a genius at the same time.

Disclaimer: I'm playing though, I can give a better speech than the president. Oh, that anyone can, dope! [Holmer Simpson style]

HOW FAST DO WE GROW OLD THESE DAYS!!

2009-01-26T02:45:00.000-08:00

Oh my God I'm old! Yes, I found out the other day. This is how it happened.

I found myself in a discomfort zone, any grown person's last wish-I was in a matatu with more than a couple of boy high school kids. Well, they have nothing on me, I'm a big boy and wiser. The mat kicked some of that funky loud music. I was like "now, that's gansta" Some real deep hiphop... some Nas, Scarface,... some really old but tight joints.

Then all over sudden one of those punks raised his voice for the driver to change the music claiming its some whack shit! Guess what they wanted? That noisy, filthy, lyrically-empty a genre of music that is commonly known as CRUNK! I was perplexed and peeved at the same time! (just to use a few vocabs) In my day, which wasn't too long ago, we used to listed to Dre, Eminem, Nas and JayZ. Now they listen to Lil John, Soldier boy and, what's his name?

Then it dawned on me, I felt like my father. What do you enjoy in that noise you're listening to?
I have become old. So fast to even notice it. These "modern kids" don't know what real music is. Beats have become so fundamental in songs, vocal are due to be dropped soon. I prophesize. They are going to use ocmputers to make funny noises instead, let alone lip synching.

I solemnly pray for the generation that comes after the one behind me.

THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE

2009-01-23T03:38:00.000-08:00

This has been inspired by another blog I read 50 things you should do before you're 50. I decided to come up with a list of my own.

Organize a crazy house party at my place.
Direct a movie
Be rich
Write a book, have tried but I'm always lazy to just put my mind to it and finish
Have kids, still not decided on which gender I prefer for a first born. Mmhhh....
Go for a road tour with a bunch of wild friends, with no clear knowledge of where the destination is.
Make a record song
Get a tattoo, piercing no.
Get on TV for any reason, I have been on TV before though. I just want to do it again!
Get on radio
Buy a hydraulic car. If I can't at least the car needs to be pimped
Start a magazine company
Organize a big family re-union, we don't have that in our family
It won't hurt to be president
Fall in love
Plant a garden in my back yard
Own a pet, definitely a dog.
Drink the most of all available beer brands in the market
Cross the border
Forget Chinese, I want to learn Kikuyu
Eat some of those funky foods, like lobsters
Buy my mom a house, it doesn't have to be expensive
Learn to write with my left hand. This is underway
Go camping
Visit a museum
Get on board a cruise ship. Still thinking if traveling in it would be cool.
Learn how to use a gun. No, just for fun. I like the sound of it when it's being loaded or assembled
Drink and drive, I'll probably do this last because every time I attempt it I just end up spilling my drink!

POLITICIANS AND CAMERAS!! -Wekesa Scolded By Kibaki.

2009-01-23T02:17:00.000-08:00

Show this picture below to any politician and he will tell you it's what they want to see infront of them all the time. They always crave for attention will not let the slightest opportunity to lie to a crowd slip away.

Okay, maybe it's their trait. You have to pose for the cameras to become a good politician. You have to make the news. Its like a promotional stunt, like when 50 cent shot one of The Game's crew members on the leg. You have to make the news and say what people want to hear!

But is there a slight possibility of doing this decently? I mean, why call a press conference to condemn a fellow cabinet minister and to demand for his resignation when you sit on the same table during cabinet meetings, it's not like the guy is lost or can't be found or something, he is right there! Wouldn't it be easier to just say it to his face rather than tell it to us at a funeral ceremony or a wedding when you know the cameras are rolling? Or picking up the phone and calling, that isn't bad.

You see, when things don't go the way they want they start making stupid threats. "If you people don't want to listen then I will spill the beans and give out the list of names of the culprits who did this and that" Its like, "if you don't shut up I just might do the right thing and you will end up in jail!". Please... and the press will be right there to capture the drama. Their presence just agitates the politicians, that's why you see them whirl out and burst to song and dance when they see cameras.

Whistle blowers are supposed to be the good guys, right? But the motive counts, that which drives him to blow that whistle. Politicians are careful to do this, because they might be caught in the same trap. When they blow any whistle it's because they became and desperate and the other party just became too difficult to handle. They do it when their political might is at stake or undermined. But a camera is always present.

Politicians of all people should know the protocol to follow according to the laws, rules and regulations set for each situation. It seems in their book the only step to follow is to call for a press conference. Talking where it doesn't matter much. The tax issue for example, most of them claim they want to pay and that they should pay taxes... but they only say it outside parliament, again making sure of the presence of cameras.

I don't know who sent the honourable Wekesa out to call that news conference, and condemn the PM. It was so embarrassing for me to hear how the president told him off at yesterday's cabinet meeting. It would have saved him a lot of humiliation if he had just faced the PM. Plus it would have proved his bravery.

I suggest we put away the cameras and see how they handle their differences. But I love the drama though, I suggest you watch yourself lest you get engulfed by it. I urge you not to take them serious.

THINKING IS HARD.

2009-01-22T06:21:00.000-08:00

I was thinking out loud the other day when I wondered, "why are the hardest workers paid the least?" Think about it, from the watchmen.to those mkokoteni guys doing their thing distributing and transporting loads hundreds of times more than their own weight. Or have you seen how those construction people burst a sweat at their jobs, the mjengo people?

Then someone burst my bubble as a I was day dreaming that lazy afternoon when he said "who said they work the hardest?" Here was his argument: as much as their work demanded a lot muscular strain, it wasn't a "hard" job to do because they don't need to think much when they did their job. They just did it, to us who are not used to that much strain, we think it is hard but to them they are okay. It's nothing, just the same way how good a blind man can be good at finding his way around with his stick. We could see it as much trouble for him but to him its nothing.

White collar jobs on the other hand, those are the tricky one since you need to think at every step of your of your job execution. You have to make a decisions and fast. Imagine an architect trying to come up with a design for new house within a specified period of time. And by the time he finishes, the client must like the end product. Visualize the stress that he might be going through and the pressure he carries on his shoulder. Doing the same thing over and over again but differently, how hard is it to stay relevant and original?

Thinking is hard, i get, now that I'm thinking it.

So who do you think is working the hardest, the CEO or the construction worker?

LOOK WHAT THINKING DID TO EINSTEIN!

TEN WAYS TO MAKE HIM... WHATEVER, SHUT UP!

2009-01-22T03:53:00.000-08:00

Those type of headlines on those stupid magazines make me sick! These days they even come in motivational books; 10 secrets to success, 7 sure signs of cheating, how to blah blah... jeez, stop already! I like to read but with those kind of headlines I'm going to lose my litteral appettite and I might not eat at all! Oops, I just puked a little... in my mouth. It might have worked for some people but, not for me. (It's like blind-dating, does that really work?) What a scam!

Truth is, there are no secrets. I have read those articles and they don't tell me anything I don't already know, they are all filled with the same mendacity that they keep recycling.

If you read motivational books you could be okay. I realize most peolple who calim to be readers in Kenya actually read motivational books. How to become rich and the likes. I have news for you, you are not a reader you just happen to read books. To me it just sounds like a desperate move, just as is blind dating. I just noticed how much alike these two situations are. So let me break it down and do the comparison.

What motivational book reading says about you is this; you are not brave enough to go out to live your life on your own, you need a coach. You are too lazy to learn and discover your environment on your own, you want to be guided and you are seeking for a shortcut, a pathway that someone else followed so that you don't get bruised from the thickets on the journey of life.

Blind dating is quite the similar. You just can't handle rejection or maybe you can't even make that first move perhaps because you don't make an adorable first impression and are therefore looking for someone who will love you for you. That's because they don't get to judge you from your impression, how lame.

But being a human being who has been in the world and seen how things operate, I appreciate that suckers are born every second and they make our society whole. I won't judge you if you do any of the above.

Disclaimer: The points made on this article were not fully thought through, and therefore the writer won't take full responsibity for them and the emotions they may cause to the reader. If you are a sucker, it may make you feel better to note that the writer hails from a town where motivational book-reading and blind-dating are prohibitated by the law.

MAD MEN INVADED PARLIAMENT!

2009-01-21T06:47:00.000-08:00

No, no. Not mad men, that's actually them- the members. Those are the honourables that we vested with the duty of making the law. The law that only serve their interest. It is very alarming to note that a large number of people of about 210 can converge at the house and put aside the interest of the rest of the country and meet their own. Not even one person with moral values could stand up and say nay? Not one?!

This country is more divided now than it has ever been, but still I wouldn't blame our greedy leaders even if they incite crowds and generate hate through tribalism. They just take advantage of what is already there. We like to make excuses and let them get away. We make lots of noise but our voices fade away. We lose focus so quickly.

"So what do you want us to do?", Haven't you heard that phrase, the power is in the people? Why do I keep thinking that democracy isn't the best system for us? Because I feel like we cannot achieve the simple goal of choosing and identifying a leader. Most of the population doesn't even know what they want from there government. Okay, they want everything for free. They want the impossible! This is because, I bet, they don't know government works. They don't even clearly know the powers of the president. Information and the power of judgment is what we lack.

THE POWER IS IN THE PEOPLE.

Enough about our shortcomings. Our mad men on the other hand are clueless. We cry to them for help and but they cry along with us. We tell them we are suffering, they ask us how they can help. They act like they are desperate to offer us help but they don't they have no idea HOW!
So they opt for the easy way out, dishing out money and freebies to calm people for a while... but the problems come back to haunt us.

IDP's were handed cash, starving people are given relief food, unemployment? They set up a youth fund, women cried foul- a fund was set up for them as well. Are you satisfied yet, no? There, take that, it's money for the CDF fund. Any more problems? There's plenty more money left, not for the teacher's salaries though. That is asking for too much. Isn't primary education free? Problem solved! Fend for your own selves, the government is not responsible for you!

That is the wrong approach, short term solutions work well with us people of short memories though. That is why these events keep recurring and these mad men keep multiplying. Their offsprings being more daring and bold as we still ask ourselves; "but what can we do? They have guns, what do we have?"

Let's get people with visions who will show us practicle solutions that will yield results. Creative people, regardless of tribe. Sometmes I get scared, because I get the feeling we are breeing nation of mad men!

UNIVERSAL IMBALANCE.

2009-01-20T05:09:00.000-08:00

Since because I'm at war with my human brain, I oftenly find myself doing the opposite of what is already there. I have this urge to make everything balance. For example, if you told me that Tom is guilty of some wrongdoing and everyone is pointing fingers at him. I will be compelled to think; what about the people behind the scenes whom we can't see? The people who may have played a part in Tom's crimes. Maybe something (if not someone) pushed him to do it. He may be guilty but who are we to say? Did anyone see him do it? I am dragged into this situation or state of mind simply because no one else is convinced that Tom is innocent. In such cases I'd rather be sure myself.

Even in movies, I get attracted to the villain' side and pray that they don't get caught... yep, you guessed it- because everyone wants them to get caught! Sometimes I do this subconciously. I just can't keep my attention off the rusty side of the coin when the rest of the world's attention is on the other side. I guess my brain has picked up this info and made into a pattern and so I'm back to mental slavery, whatever that is supposed to mean.

My favourite time when I'm home is news time, but only when only my old man is watching. My father is a very funny guy during news time, unfortunately he mostly makes fun of bad situations Well, the news is mostly bad news. You should know he is pro ODM, obviously. I don't really kno what I'm pro. But when the arguments begin (it won't be news without them), my father get at it and you already know, I would seem to be pro PNU (though I'm really not). Just to create some sort of balance. Somebody has to represent their point of view where they have no representation. For that my father says I'm brainwashed by Okuyus. Find me among Kuyus and I'm for ODM. Not because I support or agree with them, just for the balance!

If there were balance mechanism in the universe, it would be a very just world. Or maybe it exists... and I'm part of that mechanism?

How does your human brain play tricks on you?

WE ARE NOT STUPID, WE JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO THINK!!

2009-01-19T06:31:00.000-08:00

A qualified Engineer friend of mine, registered with Engineer's Registration Board (E.R.B) who earned his Degree in BSc. at the University Of Nairobi approached me one day with two mathematical problems that were presented to him as a bet in one of those drinking dens in Embakassi. The challenger was a makanga. "Would you fail to solve a mathematical problem set by a makanga- with all the dirt and his worn out clothes?", he asked me. It's not what he said but the tone of his voice when he said it. I even saw the spite in his face. That question led to a fierce argument.

The human brain works in a funny way. I would describe it as a pattern-forming 'machine'. It collects information from past experiences that were stored in the memory, compares it with the information at hand to identify any pattern and process new information or trigger a perception in our minds, a perception that is based on that pattern, or that completes or develops that pattern farther. This mostly happens without even us knowing, and if let alone (which is the case more often than not), this 'machine' can be misleading and a big obstacle against us exploiting the most out of our potential ability. Its time we (Kenyans... and really the human race) atleast struggled to get past this obstacle and unlock the cage within which our greatness is incarcerated and tap from it.

Our greatness, and the development of our country that we so much yearn for begins with each one of us as individuals and it starts in our minds- how we think. self-emancipation from mental slavery is the first step.

To me, thinking is an art. I am not a doctor or an expert but I know this much; our way of thinking is what stands in our way. We are an emotion-driven population as opposed to a fact-driven one. We go with the mood. We are not big enough to betray our thoughts and our perception and our pride for the greater good. No. We do the obvious, the easy thing to do. atleast our leaders do that, but I don't blame them. They are us. That is the bitter pill we should swallow. The mere reason why they are there is because we could not compromise. Not them, us. We cannot compromise to see another tribe other than ours take over the throne. Us! But we are not stupid or mad.

I keep fighting this battle everyday, a battle against my human brain. The mission is to take control over it.

Nothing in life is definite. That is where my friend was wrong. Just because we always wake up to new day, it doesn't mean that tommorow will come. Even though from experience, our brain has been gathering this info and has stored it so when prompted it 'tells us' that when the sun sets, it will rise again.

I got one of those makanga problem right. My Engineer friend didn't, the first time he attempted it. That means he ended up buying that makanga his deserved drinks. If you want to know what the questions were, hit me. They're not hard, just practical.

*for those who dont know, a makanga a sheng word to mean a public transport conductor.
Copy the link below to your web browser and have a read.

http://kwani.org/main/translated-from-kibakizungu/

THE LAND WHERE EVERYTHING IS GRAND

2009-01-16T22:14:00.000-08:00

Ever since the grand coalition came to existence on that historic day of the signing of the accord (anyone out there know what the accord entailed?), everything went grand in this country- grand ignorance, grand poverty, grand abuse of human rights, even grand corruption went grand! And it's a record, three scandals in one year! All grand. Hand claps. These people make us look like simpletons, and we are!

In yesterday's news the president was literally begging for donor aid , he said "help us... even if we have rogues" Its not bad to ask for help, what is ironic is that that same government dismiss those same diplomats as "interfering with internal affairs" when they comment negatively on the government, claiming Kenya doesn't need them, we can fend for ourselves. True, they do interfere with our internal affairs and I don't like it. Let's just prove to them that we don't need them, but if we do then we have no choice. It will only mean that we have another battle to fight to absolutely break free from dependency on the west.

Back to the main point. The root of the problems we are facing in our country lies in us, our leaders are just the reflection of who we really are as a people. When I watched the news yesterday it got me raving mad, because it is my image as a Kenyan that these politicians are tarnishing. Then I thought, if I had the chance of enriching myself overnight through dubious means, would I do it? I promised myself I would never do it, if it made me that angry, that ashamed that other people are doing it... but then I honestly don't know. I heard it somewhere that you can't fight the system, you can't change it, it changes you. How true that is, I don't know.

I tend to feel that we bear part of the blame, that we have blatantly greedy, stupid and uncaring leaders no matter how educated they may be. We voted for them, but no that is not the crime we committed. How could we have known? They are good liars. Those people did not fall from the sky, they came from amongst us, the society made them, WE made them, that is the crime we perpetrated. Plus putting all our trust in them, and that. Our leaders are us, they show the kind of people we are.

Young people say they would never vote again, I say that's cowardly and detrimental to ourselves, the youthful. Most youth even say that they don't like politics, terming it as boring and bullshit. That is alarming. Young people; we can't afford to not get involved in politics in our country. It may be okay in the US.

I'm back in college from my attachment, my colleagues in the pharmacy department boast of how much money they made during their attachment from stolen drugs! "How cool!", everyone thinks. Everyone thinks nothing of it, except maybe me. Though I didn't say shit. That is how we start, that is how we breed them. Well, they are students... broke students, it wouldn't hurt nobody if they stole a carton out of hundreds of them, would it? See, those students will grow and graduate to stealing maize bags meant for the hungry, a hundred thousand of them. Perhaps it is in our blood. Perhaps that's why these powerful government officials wouldn't prosecute any of these culprits- they think nothing of what those curtails did. Grand does not become grand overnight.

We give birth to them, they look cute when they are little but they grow to be ugly as fuck!