KEEP YOU EYES OFF MY MONITOR!

I once watched on Tyra Bank's Show ( Yes, I watch Tyra, so what! But not so much for it to make me a sissy.) little boys and girls talking about cyber bullying, little kids took their own lives because someone they had never met kept telling them awful things like how ugly they looked or how stupid they are over the internet. Well, that's very sad- that they had to kill themselves, but the 'bullies' were right on that part about them kids being stupid!

Anyway, anyway... I wasn't going to write anything until when I was seated before this computer and this idiot passed by and tried to peep on the monitor so I quickly minimized everything, then I suddenly had something stupid to write about- stupid people!

It occurred to me like a vision, walaaaah! Our lives are now split into two; real lives and cyber lives. The internet is now such a big part of our lives... it's not bad. And it's made privacy so hard to achieve. I am not so good at keeping secrets. No, I'm not one of those who go on yapping uncontrollably and before I know it I said something I wasn't supposed to say, NO. Those kind of secrets I can keep. Or to be more accurate, it's the evidence of secrets I find hard to contain in obscurity. It's like spilling water and not wiping the floor hoping nobody will notice or that it will dry up before someone finds out there is water spilt. So to me the internet is the perfect place for me to keep the 'evidences' of my secrets without having to worry much, no one will find it there. At least no one I know.

So when this moron was peeping, trying to see what I'm upto on the internet I felt this overwhelming urge to punch him in the face. Look, didn't you get the hint when I minimized everything? The dude still hang around over my shoulder, gazing at the desktop! Well, damn him.

On other stories, yesterday was my birthday. 7th June was when the kid was born. I had the most people wish me a happy birthday ever since I can remember celebrating birthdays, thanks to facebook. And they said facebook was bad! I was glad. And I didn't do anything stupidly crazy like most people do on their birthdays, or just certain people whom I know. Anyone of you still want to wish me a... arrgh whatever! It's too late to say happy birthday but just go ahead and make me happier!

Disclaimer: The author is not responsible for any exergeration or wrong use of the word 'stupid' . The author is also not liable for any emotional distress that may arise from reading this blog post. Sensitive readers are warned not to read twice!

TEN WAYS TO MAKE HIM... WHATEVER, SHUT UP!

Those type of headlines on those stupid magazines make me sick! These days they even come in motivational books; 10 secrets to success, 7 sure signs of cheating, how to blah blah... jeez, stop already! I like to read but with those kind of headlines I'm going to lose my litteral appettite and I might not eat at all! Oops, I just puked a little... in my mouth. It might have worked for some people but, not for me. (It's like blind-dating, does that really work?) What a scam!

Truth is, there are no secrets. I have read those articles and they don't tell me anything I don't already know, they are all filled with the same mendacity that they keep recycling.

If you read motivational books you could be okay. I realize most peolple who calim to be readers in Kenya actually read motivational books. How to become rich and the likes. I have news for you, you are not a reader you just happen to read books. To me it just sounds like a desperate move, just as is blind dating. I just noticed how much alike these two situations are. So let me break it down and do the comparison.

What motivational book reading says about you is this; you are not brave enough to go out to live your life on your own, you need a coach. You are too lazy to learn and discover your environment on your own, you want to be guided and you are seeking for a shortcut, a pathway that someone else followed so that you don't get bruised from the thickets on the journey of life.

Blind dating is quite the similar. You just can't handle rejection or maybe you can't even make that first move perhaps because you don't make an adorable first impression and are therefore looking for someone who will love you for you. That's because they don't get to judge you from your impression, how lame.

But being a human being who has been in the world and seen how things operate, I appreciate that suckers are born every second and they make our society whole. I won't judge you if you do any of the above.

Disclaimer: The points made on this article were not fully thought through, and therefore the writer won't take full responsibity for them and the emotions they may cause to the reader. If you are a sucker, it may make you feel better to note that the writer hails from a town where motivational book-reading and blind-dating are prohibitated by the law.