OUR WOMEN AND THEIR TRAIT.

Our women don’t appreciate us enough, and that is what they are doing wrong. But we love our women so much, it’s not out of place to hear one of us assert that Nairobi women are the most beautiful, curvaceous and sexiest beings on earth, but I am yet to hear a single woman, even when intoxicated with the drink or in my wildest dreams (and I do dream wild dreams), say that Kenyan men are romantic. That is just the general perception but it’s sadly true even when reduced to individual level. Our women want us to do everything and give nothing back, and by giving back I don’t mean sex.


Here is a theory that our ladies have been transfixed on long enough for them to believe it and it’s almost become a law: A woman shall not admit to a man how she truly feels because if the man finds out he will but only take advantage of it and break her heart. A Kenyan woman will like you, but she wouldn’t admit just how much because you just might feel too sweet, so a man may go ahead and say all the i-love-you’s and i-miss-you’s, call her all the babe’s and the sweetheart’s, you might as well get laid but she will not say it with her lips that you are romantic or the best. No out-of the-ordinary compliment will come your way, buddy. And trust a Kenyan woman to say something mean whenever you blow your own horn. Things like “Boy , please..” and “Don’t flatter yourself, Romeo”, feel me? But dare you stop the gush of compliments to her and all over sudden you don’t really love her.

This is even truer for women who have undergone a heartbreak at some point in their life. Yeah, that’s where another prick of a man spoils it for the rest of us and you end up becoming the relationship messiah, paying for the sins of another. She really likes you and really wants you but will always keep you close enough to not ward you off or make you feel unwanted. You are never going to know for sure and she won’t make a choice after a long time yet pushing her to the corner might not be the best thing to do. I heard it and happen to know that it’s a risk to let someone else in completely, but women and their emotions… when love ends it becomes disastrous for them.

For women who are uncontrollably scared of heartbreaks, I probably could understand but our women have an unreasonable trait of always putting us down when we are working hard to impress them, possibly to trim or keep our pride in check. Men are men, we have an ego, take our masculinity away and what do we have left? I’d say nothing. So ladies let your man have his moments and when they arise, lie if you have to we do that all the time.

“Hey, baby you’re the best”

“You’re the handsomest on the planet”

“My ex has got nothing on you”

You know, little lies here and there, you think we don’t like that crap? If it didn’t cross your mind then now you know.

Lastly, I hereby testify that all the women from the rest of the world have got nothing on our Kenyan women! And that’s real.

ALLOW ME TO SAVE THE DAY.

If people added a little more truth in what they said, life would be a lot easier! The truth is difficult to say... and ugly, but doesn't somebody just have to say it to save the day? Fuck my feelings, just because you can't handle it doesn't mean I can't handle the truth! I hate selfish, emotionally needy individuals. With that said I guess I might as well say that I hate everybody. With all these superficial women hovering around, my diplomatic nature doesn't really help.

Wyre told you ladies, make a choice! Make up your minds... but I guess you all like to be chased after. One thing I usually can't argue with when I'm trying to hit on a girl is when they say they have a man. What do you say to that? Ummm, 'I don't mind. I have a girl too'? Then you find out you like me too, but you didn't tell me soon enough that you had another guy somewhere. You just led me on until I got you cornered and then you spill out that gibberish! You knew what I wanted, I know you knew because I told you. Talking about you want us to be friends now, crap. You should get to know me better. And I can't believe it that you claim you were protecting me from a heartbreak all this time, then what do you call this?! But I'm a big boy, woman. I'm okay. As a matter of fact I'm fine! Shit, I'm doing great, look at me! I don't hate you, I love you, remember that. That's why I can't be your friend, not even because you are a filthy liar. I'm looking back at the first time we met, and I wish you never called.

Hey, I'm willing to carry the burden of being the hero and save the day, big responsibility. It's one of my shortcomings anyway, I can't fit in so its probably a good thing I use it to create better days for all of us, right? No, that dress doesn't fit, you're too fat! I know it looked good when your mother's cousin's daughter wore it but that's because she's a teenager... and she has a nice figure. And your teeth are crooked, ever heard of braces? Pretty cool invention. You need a little teeth whitening too. But it shouldn't worry you much, those are things we can fix. How am I doing so far, is the day any better? Call me Captain Save-'em. You need me just holler my name!

THE DILEMMA FACING DUDES.

This has happened to me so many times now it pisses me off. It's not fair, but it's part of the game and I have to play it. We call it keeping it real.


I see these chics I'm not interested in and thank goodness I can always tell from a mile away where a conversation is headed. My buddy likes the flirting and teasing, I pull away but its me they want so they call for me.


I hesitate.


"What's wrong, don't be a wimp!"


My friend whispers in my ear; these ladies here might think you scared, you don't want them to think you can't handle them. I remember very well that I told him to leave them alone! In my mind I know I can't bear to be seen in their company. I had to play along, I always play along, what am I supposed to do? They were coming on me too strong! C'mon, show us what you got, their body language screamed. And they talked nasty, her friend, I mean one of them girls really talked dirty. She was like a filthy cheer leader egging me on to get jiggy with it.. saying things like we looked good together.


We kissed... and touched. Thank God she did not push me to go all the way. Perhaps she wanted me to love her, maybe she wanted me to plead and really want it. Well, I didn't want it. After the kiss I swear I wanted to spew, I ran to my room and brushed my MOUTH clean! Ironically, she a good kisser.


An overnight entertainment function in the campus, she books me. "Don't go missing now", she warns. I met her, we hang around a little and I lose her. I had someone else in mind whom I ended up having a good time with through the night. Me went mteja, had to switch back on because I had the room keys, just incase my roomies needed them.


Long story short, we ain't talking now. A beef builded up. I don't claim to be a heartthrob, but she thinks I think so. She think I feel so sweet, but its not that. Its simple, I just don't want her! It's college, we don't say no to chics, we use and dump them. But not me, I just can't. I love myself too much.


I hate that its come this, beef. I hate hating. I hate grudges. We can talk, can't we? I'm sorry I made you cry (I hear she did), I didn't mean to run away like that. Maybe I'm a wimp.