SILENCE PLEASE, DO NOT WALK!

It's like I couldn't be irritated enough by the now usual blaring sounds of funny ring tones in the library [don't even get me started, that's a story for another day] All women decided to come to the library wearing stilettos!You know the sound when they're moving around, swinging there hips, careful not to sink in the ground? Tik, tok, tik... like a clock on a wall.

Please fly by, don't walk, some other people's attention spans equal that of a 2year old. Stiletto-wearing in the library just made it to my list of heinous women behavior. And no, men don't behave badly, women do.

Now, before I get carried away and turn this into a women thing, and before they label me sexist or anything -ist, I just want to elucidate one thing here. I really do like it when they wear those high heeled shoes. They really do look nice in them too, [have you noticed I'm rhyming? Anyway.] but they don't have to make me look bad when I'm trying to peruse my books!

Why do women have issues when it comes to picking the right attire for the occasion or even the weather? Jeez, it's a clASS not a clUB, why do you arrive here naked? [Perhaps I should go slow on his one cuz my wish may just be granted.]

To some extent I don't make this observation filled with disgust but I rather see it as a wrong mode of conduct. It's like Tv, you don't need it when you want to engage in deep conversation with someone. You'd like both, but each at it's own time. So will someone please tell the honies to leave the shoes in their rightful places when they come to the library? Then we will catch up with them outside.

Ah, college life!

THE PERFECT SPOT, AND IT AIN'T BLOGSPOT.

Ain't this something. Didn't this guy just choose the perfect spot to sit? I just like the "No Fee!" part.

GIMME TIME AND I'LL SAY SOMETHING PROFOUND!

I am a thinker. I think too much though, but so far about nothing meaningful. I am one of those people who walk into a room and forget what I got into that room for. Or I may so excited and forget what the hell I'm excited for and spend a great deal of time trying to figure it out.

Hod up, I just thought of something... nope, it's nothing.

I can't work under pressure, damn, I'm not supposed to say that- I named my blog with my real name! How stupid. That's one thing I regret. I hope my potential employer is not reading this.

Anyway, what was I saying? Yeah, blogs. I started this blog about a couple of weeks ago. I'm so fresh at this, you can tell from my armature style. But give me time, time is what I beg of you.

So what do you think of my blog anyway, boring? I don't care. Actually I do. That's why I started reading articles on the web on how I can popularize my blog. Most of the tips were based on the content of the blog; break news, be unique, post regularly, mind your readers, write what they want... arrrgh! I don't have time for that, but i still make time for it. In high school I used to say; this is my life, f*** what the rest of the world thinks. Then I grew up and learned that the rest of the world is a part of my life. Without it, it wouldn't be life.

Like everyone else, I was tremendously inspired by the one Obama. [I promised myself that I would not mention him anywhere in this entire blog cuz enough has been said about him already but oh well...] There is just one problem. I can't speak like he does, I'd have to really sit down and ponder about what I want to say to choose the best words that would describe what I mean in an eloquent manner before I came up with something profound. And when I'm nervous I stutter. As I'm thinking so much goes through my head and my brain can't make up its own mind on which point to put across first and which words to choose. So I end up choking!

Unfortunately there is no time. I wish I could draw a picture of my thoughts and show it to everyone and you'll see it's brilliant. I have something amazing going on and all I have at my disposal is words to prove it? And they won't let me in until I prove it.Then give me time.

Even my teacher knew it, he was like "don't scare that boy or you might wade off off any potentially good ideas he might be thinking"

For my blog, I don't know what to say. I just be me. And you'll see I'm both stupid and a genius at the same time.

Disclaimer: I'm playing though, I can give a better speech than the president. Oh, that anyone can, dope! [Holmer Simpson style]

HOW FAST DO WE GROW OLD THESE DAYS!!

Oh my God I'm old! Yes, I found out the other day. This is how it happened.

I found myself in a discomfort zone, any grown person's last wish-I was in a matatu with more than a couple of boy high school kids. Well, they have nothing on me, I'm a big boy and wiser. The mat kicked some of that funky loud music. I was like "now, that's gansta" Some real deep hiphop... some Nas, Scarface,... some really old but tight joints.

Then all over sudden one of those punks raised his voice for the driver to change the music claiming its some whack shit! Guess what they wanted? That noisy, filthy, lyrically-empty a genre of music that is commonly known as CRUNK! I was perplexed and peeved at the same time! (just to use a few vocabs) In my day, which wasn't too long ago, we used to listed to Dre, Eminem, Nas and JayZ. Now they listen to Lil John, Soldier boy and, what's his name?

Then it dawned on me, I felt like my father. What do you enjoy in that noise you're listening to?
I have become old. So fast to even notice it. These "modern kids" don't know what real music is. Beats have become so fundamental in songs, vocal are due to be dropped soon. I prophesize. They are going to use ocmputers to make funny noises instead, let alone lip synching.

I solemnly pray for the generation that comes after the one behind me.

THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE

This has been inspired by another blog I read 50 things you should do before you're 50. I decided to come up with a list of my own.

1. Organize a crazy house party at my place.
2. Direct a movie
3. Be rich
4. Write a book, have tried but I'm always lazy to just put my mind to it and finish
5. Have kids, still not decided on which gender I prefer for a first born. Mmhhh....
6. Go for a road tour with a bunch of wild friends, with no clear knowledge of where the destination is.
7. Make a record song
8. Get a tattoo, piercing no.
9. Get on TV for any reason, I have been on TV before though. I just want to do it again!
10. Get on radio
11. Buy a hydraulic car. If I can't at least the car needs to be pimped
12. Start a magazine company
13. Organize a big family re-union, we don't have that in our family
14. It won't hurt to be president
15. Fall in love
16. Plant a garden in my back yard
17. Own a pet, definitely a dog.
18. Drink the most of all available beer brands in the market
19. Cross the border
20. Forget Chinese, I want to learn Kikuyu
21. Eat some of those funky foods, like lobsters
22. Buy my mom a house, it doesn't have to be expensive
23. Learn to write with my left hand. This is underway
24. Go camping
25. Visit a museum
26. Get on board a cruise ship. Still thinking if traveling in it would be cool.
    
27. Learn how to use a gun. No, just for fun. I like the sound of it when it's being loaded or assembled
28. Drink and drive, I'll probably do this last because every time I attempt it I just end up spilling my drink!

POLITICIANS AND CAMERAS!! -Wekesa Scolded By Kibaki.

Show this picture below to any politician and he will tell you it's what they want to see infront of them all the time. They always crave for attention will not let the slightest opportunity to lie to a crowd slip away.

Okay, maybe it's their trait. You have to pose for the cameras to become a good politician. You have to make the news. Its like a promotional stunt, like when 50 cent shot one of The Game's crew members on the leg. You have to make the news and say what people want to hear!

But is there a slight possibility of doing this decently? I mean, why call a press conference to condemn a fellow cabinet minister and to demand for his resignation when you sit on the same table during cabinet meetings, it's not like the guy is lost or can't be found or something, he is right there! Wouldn't it be easier to just say it to his face rather than tell it to us at a funeral ceremony or a wedding when you know the cameras are rolling? Or picking up the phone and calling, that isn't bad.

You see, when things don't go the way they want they start making stupid threats. "If you people don't want to listen then I will spill the beans and give out the list of names of the culprits who did this and that" Its like, "if you don't shut up I just might do the right thing and you will end up in jail!". Please... and the press will be right there to capture the drama. Their presence just agitates the politicians, that's why you see them whirl out and burst to song and dance when they see cameras.

Whistle blowers are supposed to be the good guys, right? But the motive counts, that which drives him to blow that whistle. Politicians are careful to do this, because they might be caught in the same trap. When they blow any whistle it's because they became and desperate and the other party just became too difficult to handle. They do it when their political might is at stake or undermined. But a camera is always present.

Politicians of all people should know the protocol to follow according to the laws, rules and regulations set for each situation. It seems in their book the only step to follow is to call for a press conference. Talking where it doesn't matter much. The tax issue for example, most of them claim they want to pay and that they should pay taxes... but they only say it outside parliament, again making sure of the presence of cameras.

I don't know who sent the honourable Wekesa out to call that news conference, and condemn the PM. It was so embarrassing for me to hear how the president told him off at yesterday's cabinet meeting. It would have saved him a lot of humiliation if he had just faced the PM. Plus it would have proved his bravery.

I suggest we put away the cameras and see how they handle their differences. But I love the drama though, I suggest you watch yourself lest you get engulfed by it. I urge you not to take them serious.

THINKING IS HARD.

I was thinking out loud the other day when I wondered, "why are the hardest workers paid the least?" Think about it, from the watchmen.to those mkokoteni guys doing their thing distributing and transporting loads hundreds of times more than their own weight. Or have you seen how those construction people burst a sweat at their jobs, the mjengo people?

Then someone burst my bubble as a I was day dreaming that lazy afternoon when he said "who said they work the hardest?" Here was his argument: as much as their work demanded a lot muscular strain, it wasn't a "hard" job to do because they don't need to think much when they did their job. They just did it, to us who are not used to that much strain, we think it is hard but to them they are okay. It's nothing, just the same way how good a blind man can be good at finding his way around with his stick. We could see it as much trouble for him but to him its nothing.

White collar jobs on the other hand, those are the tricky one since you need to think at every step of your of your job execution. You have to make a decisions and fast. Imagine an architect trying to come up with a design for new house within a specified period of time. And by the time he finishes, the client must like the end product. Visualize the stress that he might be going through and the pressure he carries on his shoulder. Doing the same thing over and over again but differently, how hard is it to stay relevant and original?

Thinking is hard, i get, now that I'm thinking it.

So who do you think is working the hardest, the CEO or the construction worker?

LOOK WHAT THINKING DID TO EINSTEIN!

TEN WAYS TO MAKE HIM... WHATEVER, SHUT UP!

Those type of headlines on those stupid magazines make me sick! These days they even come in motivational books; 10 secrets to success, 7 sure signs of cheating, how to blah blah... jeez, stop already! I like to read but with those kind of headlines I'm going to lose my litteral appettite and I might not eat at all! Oops, I just puked a little... in my mouth. It might have worked for some people but, not for me. (It's like blind-dating, does that really work?) What a scam!

Truth is, there are no secrets. I have read those articles and they don't tell me anything I don't already know, they are all filled with the same mendacity that they keep recycling.

If you read motivational books you could be okay. I realize most peolple who calim to be readers in Kenya actually read motivational books. How to become rich and the likes. I have news for you, you are not a reader you just happen to read books. To me it just sounds like a desperate move, just as is blind dating. I just noticed how much alike these two situations are. So let me break it down and do the comparison.

What motivational book reading says about you is this; you are not brave enough to go out to live your life on your own, you need a coach. You are too lazy to learn and discover your environment on your own, you want to be guided and you are seeking for a shortcut, a pathway that someone else followed so that you don't get bruised from the thickets on the journey of life.

Blind dating is quite the similar. You just can't handle rejection or maybe you can't even make that first move perhaps because you don't make an adorable first impression and are therefore looking for someone who will love you for you. That's because they don't get to judge you from your impression, how lame.

But being a human being who has been in the world and seen how things operate, I appreciate that suckers are born every second and they make our society whole. I won't judge you if you do any of the above.

Disclaimer: The points made on this article were not fully thought through, and therefore the writer won't take full responsibity for them and the emotions they may cause to the reader. If you are a sucker, it may make you feel better to note that the writer hails from a town where motivational book-reading and blind-dating are prohibitated by the law.

MAD MEN INVADED PARLIAMENT!

No, no. Not mad men, that's actually them- the members. Those are the honourables that we vested with the duty of making the law. The law that only serve their interest. It is very alarming to note that a large number of people of about 210 can converge at the house and put aside the interest of the rest of the country and meet their own. Not even one person with moral values could stand up and say nay? Not one?!

This country is more divided now than it has ever been, but still I wouldn't blame our greedy leaders even if they incite crowds and generate hate through tribalism. They just take advantage of what is already there. We like to make excuses and let them get away. We make lots of noise but our voices fade away. We lose focus so quickly.

"So what do you want us to do?", Haven't you heard that phrase, the power is in the people? Why do I keep thinking that democracy isn't the best system for us? Because I feel like we cannot achieve the simple goal of choosing and identifying a leader. Most of the population doesn't even know what they want from there government. Okay, they want everything for free. They want the impossible! This is because, I bet, they don't know government works. They don't even clearly know the powers of the president. Information and the power of judgment is what we lack.

THE POWER IS IN THE PEOPLE.

Enough about our shortcomings. Our mad men on the other hand are clueless. We cry to them for help and but they cry along with us. We tell them we are suffering, they ask us how they can help. They act like they are desperate to offer us help but they don't they have no idea HOW!
So they opt for the easy way out, dishing out money and freebies to calm people for a while... but the problems come back to haunt us.

IDP's were handed cash, starving people are given relief food, unemployment? They set up a youth fund, women cried foul- a fund was set up for them as well. Are you satisfied yet, no? There, take that, it's money for the CDF fund. Any more problems? There's plenty more money left, not for the teacher's salaries though. That is asking for too much. Isn't primary education free? Problem solved! Fend for your own selves, the government is not responsible for you!

That is the wrong approach, short term solutions work well with us people of short memories though. That is why these events keep recurring and these mad men keep multiplying. Their offsprings being more daring and bold as we still ask ourselves; "but what can we do? They have guns, what do we have?"

Let's get people with visions who will show us practicle solutions that will yield results. Creative people, regardless of tribe. Sometmes I get scared, because I get the feeling we are breeing nation of mad men!

UNIVERSAL IMBALANCE.

Since because I'm at war with my human brain, I oftenly find myself doing the opposite of what is already there. I have this urge to make everything balance. For example, if you told me that Tom is guilty of some wrongdoing and everyone is pointing fingers at him. I will be compelled to think; what about the people behind the scenes whom we can't see? The people who may have played a part in Tom's crimes. Maybe something (if not someone) pushed him to do it. He may be guilty but who are we to say? Did anyone see him do it? I am dragged into this situation or state of mind simply because no one else is convinced that Tom is innocent. In such cases I'd rather be sure myself.

Even in movies, I get attracted to the villain' side and pray that they don't get caught... yep, you guessed it- because everyone wants them to get caught! Sometimes I do this subconciously. I just can't keep my attention off the rusty side of the coin when the rest of the world's attention is on the other side. I guess my brain has picked up this info and made into a pattern and so I'm back to mental slavery, whatever that is supposed to mean.

My favourite time when I'm home is news time, but only when only my old man is watching. My father is a very funny guy during news time, unfortunately he mostly makes fun of bad situations Well, the news is mostly bad news. You should know he is pro ODM, obviously. I don't really kno what I'm pro. But when the arguments begin (it won't be news without them), my father get at it and you already know, I would seem to be pro PNU (though I'm really not). Just to create some sort of balance. Somebody has to represent their point of view where they have no representation. For that my father says I'm brainwashed by Okuyus. Find me among Kuyus and I'm for ODM. Not because I support or agree with them, just for the balance!

If there were balance mechanism in the universe, it would be a very just world. Or maybe it exists... and I'm part of that mechanism?

How does your human brain play tricks on you?

WE ARE NOT STUPID, WE JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO THINK!!

A qualified Engineer friend of mine, registered with Engineer's Registration Board (E.R.B) who earned his Degree in BSc. at the University Of Nairobi approached me one day with two mathematical problems that were presented to him as a bet in one of those drinking dens in Embakassi. The challenger was a makanga. "Would you fail to solve a mathematical problem set by a makanga- with all the dirt and his worn out clothes?", he asked me. It's not what he said but the tone of his voice when he said it. I even saw the spite in his face. That question led to a fierce argument.

The human brain works in a funny way. I would describe it as a pattern-forming 'machine'. It collects information from past experiences that were stored in the memory, compares it with the information at hand to identify any pattern and process new information or trigger a perception in our minds, a perception that is based on that pattern, or that completes or develops that pattern farther. This mostly happens without even us knowing, and if let alone (which is the case more often than not), this 'machine' can be misleading and a big obstacle against us exploiting the most out of our potential ability. Its time we (Kenyans... and really the human race) atleast struggled to get past this obstacle and unlock the cage within which our greatness is incarcerated and tap from it.

Our greatness, and the development of our country that we so much yearn for begins with each one of us as individuals and it starts in our minds- how we think. self-emancipation from mental slavery is the first step.

To me, thinking is an art. I am not a doctor or an expert but I know this much; our way of thinking is what stands in our way. We are an emotion-driven population as opposed to a fact-driven one. We go with the mood. We are not big enough to betray our thoughts and our perception and our pride for the greater good. No. We do the obvious, the easy thing to do. atleast our leaders do that, but I don't blame them. They are us. That is the bitter pill we should swallow. The mere reason why they are there is because we could not compromise. Not them, us. We cannot compromise to see another tribe other than ours take over the throne. Us! But we are not stupid or mad.

I keep fighting this battle everyday, a battle against my human brain. The mission is to take control over it.

Nothing in life is definite. That is where my friend was wrong. Just because we always wake up to new day, it doesn't mean that tommorow will come. Even though from experience, our brain has been gathering this info and has stored it so when prompted it 'tells us' that when the sun sets, it will rise again.

I got one of those makanga problem right. My Engineer friend didn't, the first time he attempted it. That means he ended up buying that makanga his deserved drinks. If you want to know what the questions were, hit me. They're not hard, just practical.

*for those who dont know, a makanga a sheng word to mean a public transport conductor.
Copy the link below to your web browser and have a read.

http://kwani.org/main/translated-from-kibakizungu/

THE LAND WHERE EVERYTHING IS GRAND

Ever since the grand coalition came to existence on that historic day of the signing of the accord (anyone out there know what the accord entailed?), everything went grand in this country- grand ignorance, grand poverty, grand abuse of human rights, even grand corruption went grand! And it's a record, three scandals in one year! All grand. Hand claps. These people make us look like simpletons, and we are!

In yesterday's news the president was literally begging for donor aid , he said "help us... even if we have rogues" Its not bad to ask for help, what is ironic is that that same government dismiss those same diplomats as "interfering with internal affairs" when they comment negatively on the government, claiming Kenya doesn't need them, we can fend for ourselves. True, they do interfere with our internal affairs and I don't like it. Let's just prove to them that we don't need them, but if we do then we have no choice. It will only mean that we have another battle to fight to absolutely break free from dependency on the west.

Back to the main point. The root of the problems we are facing in our country lies in us, our leaders are just the reflection of who we really are as a people. When I watched the news yesterday it got me raving mad, because it is my image as a Kenyan that these politicians are tarnishing. Then I thought, if I had the chance of enriching myself overnight through dubious means, would I do it? I promised myself I would never do it, if it made me that angry, that ashamed that other people are doing it... but then I honestly don't know. I heard it somewhere that you can't fight the system, you can't change it, it changes you. How true that is, I don't know.

I tend to feel that we bear part of the blame, that we have blatantly greedy, stupid and uncaring leaders no matter how educated they may be. We voted for them, but no that is not the crime we committed. How could we have known? They are good liars. Those people did not fall from the sky, they came from amongst us, the society made them, WE made them, that is the crime we perpetrated. Plus putting all our trust in them, and that. Our leaders are us, they show the kind of people we are.

Young people say they would never vote again, I say that's cowardly and detrimental to ourselves, the youthful. Most youth even say that they don't like politics, terming it as boring and bullshit. That is alarming. Young people; we can't afford to not get involved in politics in our country. It may be okay in the US.

I'm back in college from my attachment, my colleagues in the pharmacy department boast of how much money they made during their attachment from stolen drugs! "How cool!", everyone thinks. Everyone thinks nothing of it, except maybe me. Though I didn't say shit. That is how we start, that is how we breed them. Well, they are students... broke students, it wouldn't hurt nobody if they stole a carton out of hundreds of them, would it? See, those students will grow and graduate to stealing maize bags meant for the hungry, a hundred thousand of them. Perhaps it is in our blood. Perhaps that's why these powerful government officials wouldn't prosecute any of these culprits- they think nothing of what those curtails did. Grand does not become grand overnight.

We give birth to them, they look cute when they are little but they grow to be ugly as fuck!